Tales From The Reluctant Mom

Blog All Stars!!!

2012-01-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

Every so often I like to go back and read old blog entries. It brings back memories and allows me to review old attitudes and make positive changes. Today I read this entry and it actually made me giggle. Welcome to my trip down memory lane and a look at my struggles in 2009 when I had three kids 3(almost 4) and under.

"Mommy, let's talk 'bout Jesus."

My heart swelled with pride! My little man wanted to talk religion with me. I'm not very good at talking about religion. I'm always afraid I will say the wrong thing or misquote a verse, causing a well meaning person to go off the deep end and start taking in multiple wives. But Conroy is three - how hard can it be to talk religion with a three year old?

"Mommy, did Jesus ever poop on the floor?"

Ummmm, let me think. While I have never read anything in scripture about toilet training, I am pretty sure that the perfect Son of God did not do imperfect things like poop on his mother's dining room floor (I know - eeewwwwww). My bet is that he picked up the skill of going to the bathroom in a proper manner very efficiently. Mary was probably very proud.

I however, have an almost 4 year old who is still struggling with potty training. Do you know how old he was when I started him? 18 MONTHS. Yes, for the past two years I have been trying to potty train my son with varying degrees of success. There are times I just put my face in my hands and mentally kick the dead horse for the millionth time. Then I named the horse Herb. It's been around long enough that the poor thing deserves a name.

I know - there are people out who think (and have said) "What's wrong? Are you being consistent? Are you rewarding? Are you encouraging? Are you standing on your head while waving one hand in the air and whistling the national anthem? Cause you know, that worked for me and my kids were potty trained by 12 months!"

So here it is - I'm officially holding try outs this week. If you think you can train my son in three days/three hours, whatever the new record is, then come on over and have at it! If you are successful, I'll give you a sticker.

On another note, I recently had someone give me the hugest compliment ever. They called me a "hero mom". If you are reading this, you know who you are and you made me smile today! Normally I would consider myself anything but a hero. My patience wears thin, I hate housework and ever since this summer my dreams of being a domestic goddess have been put on the back burner. I get frustrated, sometime depressed and I stress about strange things like how the hand towel in our main floor bathroom hangs. On the other hand, I have survived two weeks of tummy flu, head colds and teething with my sense of humour intact. To quote a rather famous vegetable (or fruit depending on who you are asking) :

"I AM THAT HERO!"

Larry Boy, Larry Boy...da.da.da....

Posted 11th February 2009 by Buffy

So the good news is that Conroy potty trained about 6 months after this post - just before he started preschool. The really good news is that even though he was a late starter, it was only a month after that that we no longer needed to use pull ups at night.

Three years later I am training my last child. She is 3 and half and so much like her brother some days that it nearly kills me. Child number two was fully trained just after her third birthday. Callysta is starting preschool in the fall and I'm fully expecting it to take her that long to get used to a pull up free life. But now that I've trained two other kids, I'm OK with it. 9 months from now all my kids will be in school and it will be the beginning of something new. Something where I actually get a couple hours a day to myself at home. I'M SO EXCITED.

I lied.

2012-01-01T08:41:00.000-08:00

It wasn't so much of a lie as a fib. Or an avoidance. Actually, it wasn't even that.

When I said that I resolve to be less resolute, I just meant that I resolve to not put so much pressure on myself to be a Martha Stewart/Supernanny/Stepford Wife like I do every year. Every year my resolutions are the same and they look something like this:

1. Lose half my body weight and get abs of titanium. Stay on your diet EVERY DAY.
2. Cook from scratch ALL THE TIME and never, ever use take out or a drive through. Create amazing murals in my child's bento lunch box using all organic ingredients. EVERY DAY.
3. Never go to bed angry or with a messy house. Clean it till it shines EVERY DAY.
4. Read 10 books to my kids - EVERY DAY.
5. Do not allow laundry to pile. Having an apartment sized washer for a family of 5 is no excuse to be lazy. DO IT EVERY DAY.
6. Go the gym for two hours a day, EVERY DAY.
7. Ramp up my home business and dedicate 4 hours to it. EVERY DAY.
8. Outside of school make sure the kids get 2 hours of exercise EVERY DAY.
9. Blog. EVERY DAY
10. Take a college course or two and study for at least two hours a day. EVERY DAY.
11. Spend an hour a day studying the Bible. EVERY DAY.

I know I could have rounded that down to a neat 10 resolutions, but I couldn't decide which one to get rid of. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl.

Do you see what I have set myself up here for? The problem with being "all or nothing" is that I could never actually do ALL of this and still be sane. I have three young kids who require trips to and from school three times a day, three meals a day and three snacks a day. There is homework, out of school activities and grocery shopping. I just did the math and I would need a minimum of 20 waking hours per day to actually keep up with a list like this. The inevitable result is that I end up doing nothing. I give up a week into the new year, feeling defeated and guilty.

In my resolve to be less resolute I have edited the above list to reflect what I can realistically achieve.

1. Go to the gym. Three days a week. An hour and a half at a time, because that's the most they'll keep your kids in the daycare. Doesn't matter when you go - just try for three days a week.
2. Cook healthier. Doesn't have to be all the time. The one thing I do want to cut out of my family's diet is processed sugars. I'm going to stop buying it and see what happens. And maybe try the vegan chocolate cake recipe I found.
3. Have the kids clean up their messes before supper so that the mess is not so bad before bed. Try to have the dishes done before eating dinner so that we can relax as a family afterwards.
4. Read a book to my kids before bed.
5. This laundry thing is actually a real pain. Small washers and big family's do not mix. I really should be doing it every day to stay on top of things. I'll try every second day.
6. I'll be working on Buffy Bo Peep - but only as I have time. I'm not going to put my family or sanity second for it. It's a hobby that I enjoy, but it's not my career. Yet.
7. Get the kids outside for at least an hour a day. We usually do it after school, so that's easy.
8. I look at blogging the same way I look at my sewing. It's a hobby. I like it, but finding the time can be difficult.
9. I might do a course in the fall. Or not. We'll see.
10. Before bed, I'll do my Bible study. I'm not a morning person, so getting up at 5am before the kids is just not going to happen.

Reading that list, it looks pretty do-able. I'm already doing most of it, it just means putting a little more effort in. In a year we'll see if I kept any of my resolutions. If not, there's always 2013!

Farewell 2011. It's Been Swell.

2011-12-31T12:08:00.000-08:00

Another New Years Eve has come (or "Happy New Years Eve" as Camryn calls it) and I'm left wondering how on earth I ever got this far in life. I recall as a teenager telling my youth minister, that I didn't think I would live past the age of 18. Not because I was a terribly at-risk youth, but because I simply could not see the possibilities past high school. I couldn't conceive of career and family and all the other things that come with adulthood. I could never see myself being married for more than a decade with three young children yet, here I am.

This is the year that I believe I actually stepped into adulthood. While I did attend college two provinces away from my family, I was still financially dependant on them. For the last 13 years I have remained close to my parents. Nathan and I even shared a home with them for three years early on in our marriage. But last January, that all began to change when Nathan decided to pursue an opportunity in Fort McMurray with his company. It was very touch and go at times, but within just a couple months we managed to move our entire lives and our three little ones to a city we had never seen before.

We have managed to settle in nicely, though I still feel slightly displaced at times. I miss my friends, and I miss being closer to my family. I miss IKEA. I miss belonging to a church and having people around that know me. The first few weeks that we were here I felt like we were always explaining. We've met a few people now, but I still feel kind of isolated sometimes. I think a part of me got tired of trying to find a place to fit and just decided to be.

I am thankful for the move here. I think that we made the right choice and that in time we will feel very comfortable here. Right now we are just focused on getting through the first year (and winter! Eek!) and seeing where this takes us. I would love for this to be a more permanent arrangement and I am dreaming of the day we can actually buy a home in this crazy market. The day I can paint a wall any darn color I want will be a very happy one!

The kids have settled in very nicely, though they miss their old friends and still talk about them frequently. Every so often I hear a wistful little voice say "Can our old friends come to play?". I say "no, but let's look on Facebook and see how they are." Inside I'm dying thinking "I want MY friends to come play too!".

School has been a welcome distraction for this. Conroy is in grade 1 and doing well. He still hates going to school and just wants to stay home with me. I tell him to hang in there until the end of 6th grade. That's our exit point. Camryn is in the Early Learners program. What a blessing that has been! She is a social butterfly and absolutely loves school! And the amount of French that she is learning with this program is going to be a big help for her over the next couple years! In just a couple days I will be registering Callysta for the same program and I think that she will love it as well. They attend four days a week for 2.5 hours a day. I'm looking forward to the break that this will give me next year as well!

I wish I could end this blog post with a long list of resolutions. However, after breaking nearly every resolution I have ever made, I'm kind of over it. I resolve to be less resolute. There. Done.

Happy New Year!

I Was Not A Beliber

2011-07-13T14:27:00.001-07:00

I have a rare evening where the kids are in bed. So I rented the Justin Bieber biopic "Never Say Never"

Chelsey – I blame you for this. You started it.

On my kid's behalf: They have no interest in Justin Bieber. Instead they beg me to play the "Dolly" song. Yes, "Barbie Girl" by Aqua is the most popular song in our van. Don't judge.

On his skill level: I was under the impression that JB was another Disney-type created star. Singer, dancer, entertainer, but little by way of actual talent. But when I see video of an eight year old kid playing the drums with that kind of skill, I have to admit that there is more talent there than I expected. Have you ever tried to play the drums? I did. It wasn't pretty. How anybody can will all four of their limbs to play four different speeds and in four different directions is beyond me.

The scenes with him practicing in the bathrooms made me a little wistful for days gone by. The first time I ever won a coveted solo in our church youth choir, I spent nearly an hour practicing in the church washroom. Maybe it's all the plumbing and tile, but the acoustics in there were pretty amazing. I can no longer walk into a church bathroom without lyrics from Michael W Smith running through my head.

Regardless, now I know why I never made it in the entertainment sector. As I watched the film, I made these notes of comparison.

Justin: Innate sense of timing and rhythm. Played the drums at a young age. Doesn't appear to have to think about it. He just does it.

Me: Could work with my hands on the drums – or my feet. But when I tried to do it at the same time it was a mess. I could keep it up for 10 seconds tops before screwing up.

Justin: Doesn't understand why people wouldn't want to listen to him.

Me: Constantly in a state of shock when people DO want to listen to me.

Justin: People beg him to sing.

Me: My kids beg me to stop singing.

Justin: Perfectly comfortable on stage, feels like he belongs there.

Me: My knees start to shake just thinking about getting on a stage by myself.

Justin: Wears designer clothes.

Me: Two words : Wal-Mart Wardrobe.

Justin: Can dance.

Me: The summery on my bronze level Jazz class report card basically said "She knows the steps – she just doesn't do them well."

Justin: Has a tour bus and a jet.

Me: 2003 Honda Odyssey. Swagger…

So it was a way to pass the evening. Watching all those screaming girls reminded me of a time when I was a 10 year old sixth grader going gaga over NKOTB. Makes me wonder who my girls will be going nuts over.

On Exercise – And My Lack Of It

2011-05-23T18:11:00.001-07:00

Today I hurt. The right side of my lower back aches and even my toes and the balls of my feet are in pain. My thighs are burning, though not in the romantic way that I prefer. I'm happily married and say that without shame.

One week ago today, I started packing the kids up every morning and heading towards the local YMCA. Once the kids are safely deposited in the childcare room, I head for the gym and spend an hour or more trying to work my rapidly expanding waistline back into shape. I'm not too picky about the shape it goes into, as long as it stops resembling an over ripe avocado. By Wednesday I was proclaiming to my husband how amazing the gym was! The free childcare, the chance to move and stretch without several interruptions, (Since the start of writing this post I have been interrupted no less than 4 times by a Littlest C who despite being insanely tired, is refusing to settle in for a nap.) and how incredible I felt!

But now it is Monday and I hurt. I started out well enough, but just ten minutes into my workout, I knew I was in trouble. My joints started to burn, particularly my knees and hips. I at once regretted using second hand runners with no arch support. By the end of my workout I was feeling better, but now my body has had a chance to cool down. My abs are complaining, and so am I.

The truth is, I would normally never go to the gym this much. In my other life, I tried to get into a routine, but the cost of childcare was too much to handle, and by evening when I could sneak out without the kids, I was just too tired to even think about jumping on an elliptical trainer. But now, in this new life, free of coffee dates, mom groups and Starbucks, I don't really know what else to do with myself. I have no other responsibilities aside from taking care of three blond monkeys and organizing the house.

The one thing has come to light since our move is that I now have time. I used to brush off everything to do with improving myself due to lack of time. I didn't have time for Bible study, exercise or learning. I no longer have that excuse and I think that right now, I'm good with that. Maybe it's time to give me a chance

How To Make A House A Home

2011-05-07T10:31:00.000-07:00

Step One:
Display items that have traveled with you since the beginning of your marriage.

Step Two:
Display family photos.

Step Three:
Arrange furniture in a pleasing manner - even if it is just camping chairs. The couch comes on Tuesday!

Step Four:
Add some slightly sticky children. Preferably your own.

Step Five:
Spread the children's mess in a manner similar to the previous house.

Step Six:
Take pictures of your unsuspecting husband while he sleeps. Apologize later.

Step Seven:
Marvel at the amount of space you have in your own room and ponder the fact that the king size
bed takes up less than half the room. Wow.

Step 8:
Be very thankful for the uber white walls which now make your photos turn out infinitely better than before. And make note to purchase book shelves asap.

Step 9:
Encourage your kids to be happy and free to be themselves in this new space.

Step 10:
Invite your friends over - no matter how far away they are.

Sinking Up

2011-04-21T20:59:00.000-07:00

Conroy held my hand and skipped along beside me. The night before as I gave him cough syrup he asked me if it would make him "better enough" to go to school the next day. After 8 months of telling me he didn't want to go to school, he finally wanted to go - for his last day.

He knew it was a special day. When I told him that he might be too sick to go to class, he begged me to let him. He said that tomorrow was going to be the best day ever because his class was doing something special for him. By morning I knew he was too sick to go for all of class. He could barely talk and his cough was awful. Instead I arranged to have a couple friends watch the girls for me, and I made an arrangement with his teacher to come in for the last few minutes of class so that we could collect his belongings and say good bye to his friends.

Walking into the school now, it felt more final. I moved a lot when I was a kid. I don't remember being sad to see my friends go. I don't remember ever saying goodbye. I think I just left. It seemed easier that way.

We signed in at the office, then returned a library book. Then we walked down to the class room, him leading the way. He stopped at the door and waited for me. Suddenly shy, she clung to my hand. His class was on their carpet floor, doing a lesson. The teacher stood up. "Monsieur Conroy! Bonjour!" She pulled out his little chair at the table and had him sit there so the class could see him. There was a pile of art projects and work books on the table, ready for him to take home. Ethan, one of his friends brought him his indoor shoes. Then all the students sat while Mme. Hecker asked them to give Conroy their wishes for him.

The innocence of five year old children will never cease to amaze me.

"I wish that you would come back soon, cause we will miss you."
"I wish that you will make lots of new friends."
"I wish that you will have fun in your new school."
"I wish that you would get a PSP2, cause they are awesome!"

The last one made me laugh!

My heart breaks more than just a little. I watch them sing a goodbye song in a circle. They line up and give Conroy hugs, one by one, telling him how much they will miss him and that they want him to come see them again. They don't understand at this age, that chances are, this goodbye is forever. He is uncomfortable with all the attention. He is holding back his own emotions and doesn't say much, or look anyone in the eye.

One of girls whispers to her friends "Oh, Mme Hecker is feeling bad." I look and a tear rolls down the teacher's face. A couple slip out of my own eyes, as I watch my son be loved by his classmates.

He asks me if his friends will still be his friends after we move. I say yes. But I know better. I've moved enough times as a child, to know that at this age, old friends are forgotten as new ones are made.

Later in the evening he hands me a book that his class gave him about the planets as a going away gift. They have all signed their names in it. I read to him. Then he holds his hands to his head, rubbing the temples by his eyes, fighting back tears. I ask him what is wrong. He says "If I do this, then I wont be sad."

"But it's not working."

I hold him. Kiss his head. "I know honey. It's OK to be sad. I'm sad about saying goodbye to my friends too. And it's OK to cry about it."

"We"ll make new friends, right?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean we can't miss the ones we have to leave."

Until now, I have not thought about the goodbye's. I really didn't want to. I've been in Calgary area for 14 years and I have friendships and relationships that I am not ready to let go of. Watching Conroy say goodbye to his class made it sink in. In one week we are leaving and going to place where we will be starting over. Over the next week we have to say goodbye to so many people. And it is sinking in. I may have to skip the mascara this week. Either that or carry a lot of baby wipes to clean myself up after every play date and visit over coffee. Because I am definitely going to cry. A lot.

I've decided that this best way to get through is not to let it Sink In, but let it Sink Up. We are Sinking Up to a new place in Nathan's career. We are Sinking Up to the opportunity to pull together as a family. We are Sinking Up to the chance to make new friends, new relationships and to discover new potentials for ourselves.

And it will be great.

These Dreams Of Mine

2009-12-14T07:39:00.001-08:00

Last night I had what I think may have been the ultimate dream mash up. For nearly a year and a half we abstained from video rentals and movie theaters, not so much by choice, but simply because we either didn't have the funds or the time. I've been making up for it over the last month by taking in 3 theater shows (2012, New Moon and Chanel) and renting several movies for late night viewing. The amount of fantasy I have been taking in has taken it's toll on my brain.

Last night my dreams were so vivid that I awoke this morning with images burned into my mind. I dreamed I was in a gangster shoot out with Johnny Depp. Then I dreamed that I was experiencing the end of the world with Robert Pattinson, but we had some how grown 20 feet tall a la "Monsters vs Aliens". Somewhere in there I was also pregnant with my fourth child, which I knew to be a boy. No word yet on who the father was.

Conroy woke me up this morning with a simple enough request - and an odd one considering my dreams. He wants a brother for Christmas. Another little boy his age, to play with and be best friends with. I melted a little. I wonder sometimes, that if we were able to have more kids, who would they be? Would we have another girl, or be blessed with a boy this time? Immediately following that thought is the realization that I often have a hard time dealing with the antics of three kids. I'm not sure I could deal with the pressure of a fourth. Or could I?

Camryn is standing beside me while I type, and has also informed me that she wants a baby for Christmas. I'm pretty sure she means the doll sort though!

The Discontent, It Seeps

2009-11-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

Is there such thing as a mid-wife crisis? Or is it a mid-mom crisis? Whatever it is, it's in the middle of me and it's a crisis. Laundry, dishes, sweeping - oh, the sweeping. Anywhere from 2-6 times a day I am sweeping and wondering where on earth all this dirt and garbage comes from. Is it really possible for three kids to track a pound of dirt into the house when they have not even walked out the front door? Do I have a dirt fairy, flitting around behind me as I clean, creating chaos where I could swear I just brought order?

When I quit my job at Starbucks, I recall telling my boss that by mid November I would be going insane. I was off by a week or two, but I'm pretty much going insane and practically clawing at the door to be let out. Alone. Alone sounds like such a happy place right now!

I miss my job.

Yes Virginia, There is..

2009-10-05T15:14:00.000-07:00

Such a thing as too many bathrooms!

When we moved into our house a year and a half ago, we didn't realize just what we were getting. About a week later we came to the realization that we had not two, not three, but four bathrooms. And only one was a half bath. At first I was thrilled to have a camode on every level of our house, but now I am seriously re-thinking that logic. Especially since today in bathroom day. I've only managed to scrub down one room today and I am not looking forward to the other three. Granted, the half bath is the most used area of the house. It's where we do all of our diaper changing and for whatever reason, Conroy forgets that we have others and generally makes beeline for the main floor room several times a day - regardless of where he is at the time. I'm not complaining about that! It's a miracle in itself that he ever managed to potty train, and I'm not rocking that boat!

But from where I sit right now, I'm not looking forward to scrubbing three more toilets, two showers and a bathtub!

She Really Didn't Want A Nap!

2009-09-17T13:50:00.000-07:00

I can't possibly see how this would be a comfortable way to sleep - but she is passed right out!

The Time Has Come

2009-09-17T11:34:00.000-07:00

Last Christmas I started a new job at Starbucks. I love it. I love the free drinks when I am working, I love my co-workers (mostly) and I really love the discount! I honestly loved my job and looked forward to my shifts.

But there are three little people who don't love my job. They don't like me leaving every evening. They don't like how mommy is always too busy to enjoy their company during the days. Daddy doesn't love rushing home from work every day, only to see Mommy for 20 minutes, half of which I spend in the shower. Lately the home life has been sucking because of this. Last night we had the inevitable conversation that has led to my decision to quit my beloved job.

On bright side of things, I am looking forward to having more time to spend with the kids. I'm looking forward to a regular bed time routine. Seeing my husband every day will be a large bonus as we have both been feeling like single parents.

I'm also looking forward to having more time in the evenings to focus on Buffy Bo Peep. When I started BBP I was only working 1-2 shifts per week. Now I work 3-4 nights and my sewing has been pushed aside. I'm behind on projects that have been waiting for months (eek!) and I hope that October can be spent catching up.

On the down side, the reason I went back to work was to get some time away from the house. Spending all day, everyday with three little hyperactive monkeys can be overwhelming sometimes! Hopefully I will be able to find a balance and gain some peace in our family life, without sacrificing my sanity in the process.

Borrowed A Camera

2009-09-04T15:15:00.000-07:00

10 Totally Random Things I Love

2009-08-18T11:45:00.000-07:00

1. The bubbles that tickle your nose when drinking a freshly poured soda.
2. The way a super cold, super firm grape pops in your mouth when you bite into it.
3. A handmade seam, sewn so straight, you would swear it was factory made.
4. Cally's shoulders shaking because she is laughing so hard at something so minor.
5. Baby legs - so chubby and cute! The only time in our diet laden lives that people will declare those dimples to be "adorable" and "sweet".
6. Nailing a parallel park with the minivan on the first try.
7. Jem - I know what I want to be for Halloween this year! Looking for bright pink eyeshadow now! I'll dess my kids up as the Misfits, just for good measure.
8. Finding out that a friend is pregnant - Congrats!!!
9. That beautiful feeling you get walking out of the salon after a new haircut, especially if the have "refreshed" your makeup for free as well!
10. The first 5 minutes of silence after nap time starts.

Catch Up Time

2009-08-05T10:06:00.001-07:00

The month of July went by so fast, I have a hard time remembering exactly what went on. Soooo, here is a point form run down of all the excitement:

- We celebrated Callysta's first birthday! Nothing special, since she can't eat chunky foods yet, but she enjoyed a dish of ice cream while we ate vanilla cupcakes. No more babies. Sigh.

- Not one but two garage sales! We combined with a couple of friends and while we didn't make a killing, we did make enough room in our garage to actually park a vehicle in there. Nice!

- An overnight trip to Edmonton with my step sister and the kids. We spent most of our time at the mall, and stopped in that the Evergreen Cemetary to pay tribute to Chrystal's mother, who died when she was a baby of bone cancer.

-We contemplated trading in our Odyssey for a Smart Car. We have since shelved that idea.

-I'm booked up until Ocotber with BBP Bags - yay!

-Had a super fun play date with Jennie and her kids. Y'all need to come back now!

-Went to a birthday party for Julien where Conroy ran himself into exhaustion.

So yeah, it was a fun month. I've been working a lot in the evenings and spending lots of time with the kids during the days. August promises to be pretty much the same. I don't have much planned but work, and playing with the kids. Exciting huh?

Vegas Baby!

2009-06-29T21:57:00.000-07:00

Oh yes - we rented a 2010 Camaro!

Pics From The Backyard

2009-06-12T23:35:00.000-07:00

Ladies Retreat 2009

2009-06-01T15:40:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I embarked on a 2 hour drive to Salem Acres Bible Camp for our annual ladies retreat! I expected long conversations, late night tea and singing around a campfire. What I didn't expect was to be so....alone.

I did not have the foresight to bring any reading, sewing or knitting with me. By the time Saturday afternoon hit, I felt utterly lost. No kids, no housework, no Facebook! But mostly - no kids. I had no idea that I was so wrapped up in my motherly duties that a weekend away would prove to be heart wrenching. Saturday night around 9 I lay down to think for a bit, and when I woke up it was 8am! I think that if I could have, I would have sprinted home on foot at that point! All I could think about was hugging my babies and holding them close!

When I came home, Conroy greeted me on the porch - dancing in his undies and telling me about all the things he had done that weekend. He then insisted I sit right next to him on the couch for the next two hours, watching Speed Racer and sharing a bowl of munchies. Callie was excited to seeme as well and wanted to be cuddled and played with.

Camryn had spent the weekend at Grandma's and didn't come home until Monday morning. She randomly climbs onto my lap and hugs me - telling me "I missed!" She was also thrilled to see her siblings again. She can't say "Conroy" yet and instead calls him "A-Boy". The first time she said this she had come inside from playing in the sandbox, a pout on her face. "A boy hit me!" I thought some random child had wondered into our yard and hit her! It took a moment for me to realize she meant Conroy hit her - and that just made so much more sense!

So I guess I am more attached to my kids than I ever thought I was. Nathan and I are planning a short vacation to Las Vegas in a couple weeks and I'm almost dreading it. Sad huh?

Things I Have Heard Lately

2009-05-26T06:51:00.000-07:00

Four year olds have a wonderful way of communicating that is so blunt and honest.

I was going through the drive through at Starbucks, telling Conroy that, no, he could not have a vanilla frappacino today, when he let out a very exasperated sigh and said "Mommy, why I don't get everything I ask you for?"

Yesterday I was in the bathroom changing Cally when he ran into the bathroom with his pants down and yelling "I have to pee!" So he did - on the floor. When he was done, he looked at us and said "See? I told you I had to pee!" Then ran out of the room again to play.

And more cute than blunt - I was gardening with Conroy yesterday afternoon while the girls napped, and he was talking to the flowers I was planting, calling them "little fellas" and using his voice usually reserved for baby talk with Callysta. He had a blast digging in his mud garden, telling me in a very serious, thoughtful voice that he was missing something in his garden, but didn't know what. I would wager it was flowers, but he seemed quite content to plant his pretend ones.

Reap What You Sew

2009-05-04T06:03:00.001-07:00

Yeah - I'm posting a sewing related story here, instead of on Bo Peep. It really has more to do with daily life than sewing and I don't have any photos - thankfully.

Yesterday I woke up feeling much better than the previous day. Even so, we decided to forgo church and instead focused on catching up with household business. I bathed the kids, showered and entered my closet for some clean, non sick, clothing. I didn't find much. Laundry had been piling up and I really only had a couple pairs of pants that fit anyway. I looked longingly at the pants I purchased a couple months after having Callysta. I had dropped a lot of weight after her birth and had bought a couple pairs of slimmer pants. Of course, once my health was on the mend, my weight began to increase as well, until I could no longer fit into those new jeans. Sad, I know.

On the off chance that being sick had caused a slight weight loss, I grabbed the jeans and with great trepidation, pulled them on. They fit! They were a little snug, but I could deal with that. The only problem was that somewhere along the way the front button had come off. Bah. Wait - this was fixable! After all, I had a descent stash of buttons downstairs! Unfortunately, I didn't have one big enough. So what? I picked up a needle and thread and proceeded to sew the pants closed. After all, I could just purchase a button at Walmart and sew it on when we got home.

Three hours later, nature calls and I rush into the bathroom only to discover - I've sewn myself into my pants! With super strong upholstery thread! What was I thinking??? Thankfully, upholstery thread is very strong, and denim jeans are now made with a descent amount of Lycra! I did eventually manage to shrug my way out of those pants. It did cross my mind to just cut them open again, but with all my other pants in the wash, I couldn't exactly go waltzing through Fabricland with just my skivvies on, you know?

Moral of the story - Catwoman is the only person who should ever be sewn into an outfit. And don't fall behind on your laundry.

The Fire Hall

2009-04-30T18:01:00.000-07:00

Wednesday we went on a field trip downtown to a fire station. One of our friends' husband works there and every year we take the kids down for a tour. Last year we all had a flu bug so we didn't make it. I was determined to make it this time! We met with a group of the other moms and took the C-Train down to the fire hall. The kids had a blast and later in the afternoon Conroy and I talked all about fire hazards and what to do if there was a fire in our house. Here are some pictures!

At one point, Chelsey decided to take a picture of all the kids on the fire boat - so she actually climbed on top of a fire truck for it!

I could not get them to both look at the camera for this one!

Camryn on the rescue boat!

What On Earth?

2009-04-27T13:18:00.001-07:00

I have to admit I am amazed at how many hits I have had on my blogs in the past week or two! I was pretty sure that the only people reading my blog were a handful of friends and family. At the moment my hits are at 95 and I can't help wondering - who is reading this? Are they mom's like me? Are they crafty? Does anybody out there think I am a horrible, boring blogger?

Last week I took an inpromptu road trip with a friend to Regina, Saskatchewan. For those who are not familiar with Canadian geography, that would be one of the midwestern provinces. We loaded up my van with two adults and four kids under the age of four, embarking on a 9 hour drive through the prairies. We sang Veggie Tales, ate at McDonald's (one with a play park of course) and while the kids napped or watched movies, we played truth or dare. Only without the "dare" part. That would be a bad idea considering our delicate cargo. Less than 48 hours after our arrival, we loaded up and did it all over again!

I did bring my camera with me, but failed to take one single, solitary picture. Maybe it was because I was so tired, or maybe it was because I left my camera in the van the entire time. Instead I spent the day playing with the kids and then went on a short visit to Fabricland. It wasn't the most eventful trip, but it was nice to get out of the city for a bit, and even nicer getting to know my friend along the way. I can honestly say that I thank God for bringing her into my life!

Oedipus Lives Here

2009-04-19T11:49:00.000-07:00

Overheard while trying to get Conroy to bed the other night:

"But Mommy, I want to stay here, because I am going to marry you!"

" You can't marry me honey, Daddy is already married to me. But one day you will meet a nice girl and fall in love and marry her!"

" And, and, and then I'll marry Camryn!"

Cally's (not so) Favorite Animal

2009-04-17T18:24:00.000-07:00

To be fair, Callysta has never seen an animal before in her little life. We have no pets, and there had been no trips to the zoo or even to a friend's house who had a cat. Although Chelsey has a cat now, so that may change.

Monday I decided to introduce my kids to the great and wonderful world of horses. I loved horses as a child. My aunts had horses and I looked forward to seeing them every time we went for a visit. My Mom didn't have a horse. She had the unfortunate luck of falling off every horse she ever rode. Still, she encouraged me and when I was ten I was given the best ever gift of riding lessons. I loved it, and if it hadn't been so darn expensive, I probably would have kept it up. Instead I did things like volunteering at stables and working around horses for work experience classes. At the same time my brother was volunteering with the dolphins in West Edmonton Mall. My mom dreaded picking us both up from work - him smelling like gutted herring and me smelling like a horse's rear.

So Mom and I, despite her dislike of the large, smelly animals that tried to end her life on many occasions, took the kids to Spruce Meadows. I had never been there before so I didn't know what to expect. It was almost lifeless on the outside. After a bit of walking around we finally, with help, found the barns. I inhaled the straw and must, mentally reliving my teen years or mucking out stalls and cleaning hooves. All was going well until we happened upon the sweetest little pony. She was only a little taller than Conroy. I wheeled the stroller up to her stall and she stuck her head over the mesh net that served as a door. Cally suddenly clued in and in a moment of sheer terror, proceeded to scream at the hairy beast three feet in front of her. She screamed all the way out the barn door. Looks like somebody has inherited Grandma's dislike!

The other two were fine, although Camryn was confused and kept saying "Wuff! Wuff!"

Psssst....

2009-04-16T19:41:00.000-07:00

Look over to the right side of the screen. Under my links, I have a new blog! I now have two of the darn things! I'm trying my best to keep up with both, but this one is now reserved for more family related posts. By the end of the day it is hard to recall all the adventures, but I'll keep blogging away until someone tells me to stop!

Just Go To Sleep!!!!

2009-04-05T20:55:00.001-07:00

Seriously kid! It is 10pm and I have just put you back to bed for the 10th time tonight! If it weren't for the fact that I love you so much, I would have gone mental by now!

Sigh.

Did I ever tell you the story about how I didn't think I would ever have kids? I also didn't think I would make it to the age of 18, so we all know now how much of a rotten psychic I am. I have a hard time seeing into the future and as a result, I pretty much live for the moment. Living in the now is great, but when children get involved, my brain starts to hurt with all the preplanning and organization that has to happen. I'm always late with vaccinations. I don't plan supper until 4pm. And I'm frequently running to the store with a kid wearing the last diaper in the house.

Twilight Tide Pettiskirt GIVEAWAY!!!!

2009-04-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

Twilight Tide Pettiskirt GIVEAWAY!!!!

I don't usually do links like this - but I am in love with these adorable pettiskirts and I have so many projects on the go that Camryn will be a teenager before I get the time to make one myself!

Just Because I Can

2009-03-20T08:52:00.000-07:00

My two oldest kids are running in circles around the house while wearing the dirty laundry like superhero capes. Camryn has my black work pants draped over her shoulders and Conroy just asked me to tie one of Daddy's uniform work shirts around him. Callie is napping, and so is Abby, our little addition to the family for the month. For the rest of the day it will be a roation of nap times. As soon as Clalie wakes up, Camryn will go down. Then once Camryn is up Callie will go back down again. By the time all naps have been taken, it will be close to 4pm and our day will almost be over. Then I'm off to work my shift at Starbucks for the evening.

So as you can see, life is busy but not exciting in our household. The most exciting things I have been doing are my sewing projects. I vowed to get them all done by Sunday evening. Only two more projects to go and then I can start fresh again.

Sorry I don't have much else to say.

Feel The Burn

2009-03-02T21:07:00.000-08:00

I stopped exercising when I became pregnant wih Cally. I knew I was a high risk pregnancy from the start, so I focused more on diet than exercise. Tonight I broke my exercise fast and made a reluctant trip to the gym for my first post partum workout.

First, let me say that I approached this session with great trepidation. Before I left I told Nathan that I was nervous about starting all over. Back to the lowest weights, the least cardio and the knowledge that no matter how small I started, I was going to be in pain for a few weeks until my body got used to the activity I was about to force upon it. I was having horrible thoughts about my c-section incision ripping open mid crunch.

I didn't have to worry after all. I didn't do a single crunch tonight. All I did was walk on the treadmill at a pace of 2-2.5 miles per hour for 30 minutes. By the end my legs were rubbery, my hips hurt and I felt like a total amature. What I can't figure out now is why after 30 minutes I was in so much pain, when I have no problem walking around a mall pushing a double stroller for two hours.

Back From The States

2009-02-21T09:28:00.000-08:00

We just spent a wonderful 5 days with my husband's family in Spokane. There is too much to truly blog about, so I'll just go over the highlights!

- Camryn was feeling generous on the way down and offered a piece of her grilled cheese sandwich to Callysta, who happily accepted. Cally was extremely unhappy however, when Mommy had to pry that treat from her sloppy hands. I'll take this as an indication that she is ready for solids.

- We managed to convince Conroy and Camryn to sleep in the same room. This is huge. Camryn has been known to scream like a banshee when someone tries to share a room with her. Once we were home I was too tired to set up the crib again, so I just put her into the toddler bed. She actually slept all night in it! No more crib for my big girl!

- I discovered a great sale and managed to get Camryn new summer clothes for a very good price. Love a good bargain!

- Nathan and his Dad worked on our old van for a good part of the time. That thing is going to just keep on trucking!

- Conroy was thrilled to spend so much time with his cousins. I also got to know them a little better and now I am busy planning activities for June when we will be "child swapping" in an effort for the adults to get some alone time together. We'll have 7 kids under our care for a few days and I want to make sure everyone has fun!

Don't Forget To Flush

2009-02-11T19:37:00.001-08:00

Something Smells

2009-02-06T15:10:00.001-08:00

Mommy, it smells like a pooter!

What's a "pooter"?

A pooter is when your body is going to tell you that a poop is going to come out. That is a pooter. It smells real like a pooter!

Baby At Play

2009-01-30T21:23:00.000-08:00

While I have a ton of fun stuff to write about, I'm going to redirect you to my friend Chelsey's blog. She posted a great video that I got a real kick out of and anybody who lives with young children will be able to relate!

http://peteandchels.wordpress.com/

Throwing Up Explained

2009-01-27T07:27:00.000-08:00

Conroy is sick this week and this morning he was explaining to me how he "gets the sick out".

" My sick was all the way up here (pointing to his forehead) and then it came down and came out here (pointing to his mouth). "

"That's how you get your sick out?"

"Yeah - there is a door and the sick goes down from here and through a door and it comes out my mouth. That's how I get the sick out."

The kid is going to be a medical genius. I can feel it.

Coffee and Beer

2009-01-20T11:15:00.000-08:00

Oh look - a chance to sit and blog for a bit! I think about it all the time, but I never seem to have enough time ot coherantly put my thoughts together. At the moment Camryn is napping, Callie is snacking on a bottle and Conroy is making an effort to clean the play room after I caught him throwing things around. He's pretty easy to catch that way considering the amount of noise he makes.

So, I thought I would have nothing interesting to blog about, but this morning has been one string of mishaps that I would rather not repeat any time soon. I suppose it could have been avoided had I not made a chiropractor appointment, but with my (literal) pain the neck I decided that I needed to get in there before I started to resemble the crooked man with the crooked house. The problems began when I agreed to show up at the clinic at 8:45, thinking that and hour and a half would be enough time to get showered, feed and dress the kids and have everything in the diaper bag that I needed. As we headed out the door, Camryn found an old beer can that someone left on our front step. This is not normal for our area so I can only assume that Nathan picked it up off the lawn, intending to put it into our recycling. Camryn got to it first and to my great dismay, it still had beer in it. Up and over it went, and all over Camryn's pants. Noy my 20 month old smells like a bad hangover. And I have no time to change her, so off we go, beer smell and all.

While I did show up at the clinic on time, I managed to forget healthcare cards and the little togs that we use to sign in. At least the kids sat well for the adjustements and nothing too catastrophic happened while there. Then off to Walmart and the mall for a few things. Up to Daddy's work to drop off some cinnamon buns for Daddy and his co-workers. Finally I decided to stop at the Starbucks I work at. I had been promising Conroy for some time that I would take him there and today seemed fine since the kids had been fairly behaved at the mall.

Starbucks was the breaking point. We got in, got seated, ordered drinks and almost as soon as we sat down to enjoy them, Camryn threw a fit because I wouldn't let her play with her straw. As soon as Conroy was done his Vanilla Creme, I started packing them up to leave. I got all the way to the front door, drink, Camryn and Callie in hand...

SPLASH!!!! Camryn shrieks, grabs my latte and throws it on the floor, spashing my leg, and Callie's as well. I cannot possibly convey the total humiliation of having your kid throw a fit and a latte in front of your boss. I could have cried. I picked up the empty cup and lid, threw them in the trash and surveyed the damage. At least it was a small drink and it all landed on the front mat. Still, I now feel completely obligated to take on mopping duty tonight at work as penance for my child's actions. I went in with the intent of asking my boss to cut back my work hours, and left hoping to never to have to see him face to face again. I never did get a chance to talk to him.

And now I am home. Callie smells like a coffee house, as do I. Camryn smells like a beer can and there are shreddies all over my floor. Or there were, anyway, I made Caonroy pick them up while I blogged. I can't wait till he can use a vaccuum. My day is going to be topped off with laundry, cleaning and a 5 hour shift at work. Where I will mop.

Cake Wrecks

2008-12-15T20:46:00.000-08:00

I know - I suck as a regular blogger. But I found this little gem today and thought I would share. I have made several "cake wrecks" of my own, but some of these top them!

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

So I Took A Break

2008-11-02T14:56:00.000-08:00

A long break. A very long break. Having three kids is definitely more busy than having two. In the beginning I could be heard exclaiming how easy it was! That was before Cally realized that she could be awake even if there wasn't a meal being offered. Now life is busy, busy, busy!

Where should I start? Well, most of my readers are on Facebook so you all know the adventure we have been on since Callysta was born. So here is the update.

Callysta is a hefty 12lbs and 3.5 months old. She eats well and started sleeping through the night about a month ago. She bears some resemblance to Camryn at this age and loves to smile, just not for the camera. A week ago she started laughing! It's adorable!

Camryn is growing fast. We finally have an appointment for her to see an Orthopedist at the Children's Hospital. He left foot is very crooked and needs to be looked at. I'm hoping that some orthopedic shoes will solve the problem. She is starting to talk and has all kinds of words, but you have to listen carefully for them since she does not enunciate very well yet. Still, it's wonderful to hear her greet everyone around her with an enthusiastic "Hi!" before sticking her finger up her nose.

Conroy is my most challenging child. He barely stops to breathe and runs full tilt through his days. He argues with me about discipline and will frequently tell me how it is "These are the rules Mommy..and you have to listen to me!" Dear child....he'll drive me nuts one moment and be the sweetest thing the next, cuddling Callysta and cooing "Such a cute baby, what a good baby.." It melts me and makes me wonder why on earth he beats on Camryn so.

Nathan is doing well, plugging away at work 6 days a week and still finding time to help me with kids and housework. I'm sure it's taking it's toll though since he crashed this afternoon with flu-like symptoms. He told me not to let him sleep late, but I really don't want to wake him if he is not feeling well.

I'm doing well. Slowly getting back to full duties and starting to take up my projects again. I've started sewing in the evenings and this week made dresses for Camryn and Cally. They turned out pretty good although Cally's is way to small for her and will probably find its way onto a stuffed animal instead. Note to self - measurements are very important when sewing clothing.

Oh To Breathe

2008-07-20T10:26:00.001-07:00

My baby girl is off of oxygen! If she keeps doing this well she should be home by next weekend!

Introducing...

2008-07-17T16:24:00.001-07:00

Callysta Czarin Close

Born July 14^th, 2008 @ 4am.

5lb, 3oz 18 inches

Brown/Blond Hair and Blue Eyes

I had a feeling that I was going to go into labor this weekend. I had been taken off of bed rest on Friday and by Saturday evening I was contracting regularly. I spent the weekend wrapping up loose ends, packing hospital bags and making sure that everything was in order. Sunday morning my mom came into town. Nathan had gone to work to get some paperwork done that morning so my mom drove me to the hospital. I was admitted at about noon with contractions that were 5-7 minutes apart. They kept monitoring me, and while my contractions were not going anywhere they decided to keep me in since my last baby was a preemie. By 2am I was having a lot of pain along my previous c-section scar. They did a quick check and I had started to dilate. They made the decision to go ahead with the c-section right away as they did not want to risk uterine rupture. I called Nathan at about 3am and he came right down to the hospital. By 4 am we had a beautiful baby girl!

It all went very quickly and due to a lot of nausea on my part, I was heavily drugged and not totally aware of everything happening. It turns out that my precious incision from having the other two kids was not holding up and it was a good thing they did the c-section when they did. I had a lot of bleeding afterwards and had to stay in post-op for 14 hours while they tried various things to get the bleeding to stop. The usual stay in post-op in about an hour! Callysta in the mean time was taken to NICU as she was having some trouble breathing on her own. She was given oxygen and pretty much left alone after that as she did not appreciate being touched at this point.

Today (the 17^th) I have been released from the hospital. Callysta is still in NICU, but when we left she was off of the oxygen and doing well on her own. She is taking regular feeds from a bottle. As long as she is eating, breathing well and gaining weight we are hoping to have her home next week sometime. She is a feisty little thing and skinny like her brother. She has a lot of hair and likes to suck on a soother or her hands.

Oh – and a funny story about her name. We did not have a name picked out when she was born. We finally settled on a name..only to discover that not only did I have a cousin with the same name, but that their birthdays were the same as well! I decided that we couldn’t have that and for whatever reason the name chosen was just not sticking. Nathan brought up Callysta (a name he previously vetoed) – and it stuck. Her middle name Czarin, is after my mother, Karen. Only we had to stick with the “C” tradition, so we changed it to Carin. Well, we thought that it looked like a letter was missing from the name. So jokingly, I suggested we throw in a silent “Z”. Maybe it was the drugs, but Nathan and I got such a kick out of it, that we decided to spell it Czarin!

So – welcome Callysta Czarin! I apologize in advance for the teasing you may receive…but I can also tell you that with a mom named “Buffy”, you shouldn’t be surprised!

What It's Like

2008-06-25T19:27:00.000-07:00

I lift my head slightly. I've drooled on my pillow again and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, my lips chapped from breathing through my mouth all night. I wonder if I've been snoring and if it kept Nathan up. He swears that I am louder than a freight train sometimes and it keeps him awake. It's kind of hard to believe considering how hard it is to wake him.

I recall a night several years ago when my car was broken into while out with friends. I had called home and asked my mom to wake him. It took her at least 5 minutes to wake him from a sleep so deep she thought he might be dead. After 8 years and 2 kids he is a slightly lighter sleeper now. Funny how your brain never really shuts down once you become a parent.

I close my eyes again a reposition my head to avoid the wet spot on my pillow case. For a few minutes all I can hear is the loud whirring of the fan, the curtain blowing softly in the man made breeze. Even though it is cooler than when I went to bed I can still feel the sweat from anther restless night. In another few minutes I'll feel the familiar ache in my hips that comes with being forced to sleep on your side all night. My abdomen suddenly lurches and I am pulled into full consiousness.

"Good morning little one.."

I flip back the wrinkled beige sheet and stare at my navel. Neither an innie or an outie, my belly button now blends in with the rest of my stomach, the skin pulled taught and slightly itchy. I'm waiting for the morning when I look in my full length mirror to discover new stretch marks. I managed to avoid them with the last pregnancy. Probably because I gained so much weight with my first that there was no need to stretch my skin any further for number two. There was already more than enough room to accomodate the massive babies I produce. Even though she was five weeks early, Camryn looked like a 6 lb mammoth in comparison to the other two and three pound preemies. She even had rolls of pudgy baby fat on her legs. I tried to calculate how big she would have been should she have been born full term. Probably 9 lbs or more. For a moment I am happy to have c-sections and not regular births. I can't imagine the pain and frustration of trying to push out a baby that size. It's the only time I am glad to have a c-section.

Another punch brings me back. I watch in a state of suspended bliss while a small foot - or maybe a hand? - traces a small circle on the side of my midsection. I poke at it and it retracts suddenly, perhaps a little startled at this sudden contact with the outside world. I wait for more movements, but she has become quiet. Perhaps it was just time for a good stretch. I consider my own position and close my eyes again. More sleep sounds good. A quick glance at the clock and I stifle a small groan. Seven in the morning. I didn't go to bed until well after midnight. Not enough sleep. Especially when I know I won't be taking any naps. By mid afternoon it is too hot to rest comfortably.

Pulling the sheets back up to my chest I reposition myself, a vain attempt to ease the ache in my hips. If I'm lucky I will drift off again. The less I am awake during the day, the less I have to entertain myself. The days are long now. Too long. Too quiet. I'm not used to the lack of responsibility and structure. For three years my days have revolved around meals, naps and diapers. Days of balancing work and home. Never having enough time to do it all. Now I have nothing but time. Time to do everything I pined for. Days when the kids were driving me insane I would think "If only I could go and do this...". Now the silence drives me insane and I still think, if only...

Scary Spice and Nuthin' Nice

2008-06-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

Maybe I don't want to blog about fluff and bunnies.

It's incredibly difficult sometimes to come up with a blog post that spins to the happy side of life. By nature I am not a 100% happy, peppy, sunshine and roses person. I'm more Avril Lavigne than Mandy Moore. It's not that I don't like being happy. But people who are perpetually happy tend to get on my nerves after a while.

How can you be that chipper all the time and still feel human at the end of the day?

I'm having a crappy day in case you haven't noticed. Nothing has gone wrong. I'm not mad at anybody. I just feel like crap in general. Lay on the couch watching music videos crappy. I don't want to think. Don't want to start a new project. Don't want to finish anything I started.

Those of you who tell me to get off my rear and change my attitude can stuff it. Last I checked being grumpy was not a sin.

A couple friends have been kind enough to dub me the new Scary Spice. I'm feeling it.

Gotta go - there's a real important Miley Cyrus interview happening on MTV.

Most Miserable/Blessed Month Of My Life

2008-06-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

It is possible to be totally miserable and blessed at the same time. I've heard mention of "blessings in disguise" and really never thought much of it. This month I have seen both and while I feel like a giant noose is tugging at my heart, I have also seen many acts of total selflessness and generosity from both family and friends.

My last post was a couple weeks ago. I was put on bed rest and placed on a home care program where a nurse would come in and check on me every couple of days. During this time I was finding it extremely hard to take care of Conroy and Camryn. How to do you take care of a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old when you are not supposed to be lifting, walking, going up and down stairs, driving etc? It's really next to impossible when you children are this young. Hey, Camryn, why don't you go on upstairs, brush your teeth and then hop into your crib for bedtime? Such a big girl...

Anyway, Nathan and I spent a few days going over our options and trying to figure out what was best for our family. Nathan's sister Bethany volunteered to take the kids for an undetermined amount of time until we could figure out a way for them to stay at home. At first I was very wary of this option. Bethany, her husband Ryan and their four kids live 9 hours away - in Spokane. This would mean sending our kids to another country (doesn't that make it sound more dramatic than it is?) for who knows how long. Every parent needs a break from their kids now and then - but this would be a long and very far away break!

In the end we decided that this was the best option. We didn't want this baby to come this early (I'm due Aug 23) and the kids needed to be with somebody who could care for them full time. We tried to find a nanny, but with school not being done for the year there was no one available.
So June 8th, at about 8pm, we strapped out kids into Nathan's Dad's car and said goodbye. Dad had brought cousin Tina with him and she would help out on the long drive home to Spokane. I managed to hold it together until they had driven away and I got back into the house.

The kids have been gone for two weeks now. It's been a big adjustment for all of us. Poor Aunt Bethany is contending with 6 kids ages 9 and under and being treated to stares that are normally reserved for the Duggar family. Conroy seems to be a little confused at to just where home is. As luck would have it they left for Spokane the same weekend that we moved into a new house. Camryn has started walking and talking. I can't believe I have missed both! Bethany tells me they are doing well despite the upheaval in their lives. I just keep telling myself that in 10 years they won't remember this.

Nathan and I have been adjusting as well. I think the kids are doing better than we are at this point! Kids are easily distracted by the next fun activity. I keep trying to distract myself, but every so often I find myself unable to think of anything but getting my kids home again. I have been banned from leaving the city. I was hoping to get clearance to go to the family reunion (Close side) next weekend, but my doctor has advised against it. I understand, but at the same time every fiber of my being wants to see my kids again as soon as possible!

So - all that sounds like a whole lot of misery! Well, in the midst of all that, here are the blessings we have had:

- On moving day Nathan's cousin John and our senior minister Kelly showed up to help! Between them, Nathan, Nathan's Dad and my parents, our house was packed and moved within about 4 hours! It was amazingly fast!

- Our good friend and regular babysitter Brittany came along and helped me look after the kids while we let the guys do the heavy stuff.

- Two friends from my Mom's & Tot's group volunteered to clean our old place for us since I was unable and unable to find a cleaning company to do it on short notice! AND - these friends are both pregnant as well!

- We have had offers from several people at our church to help with unpacking, organizing and meals. After a couple weeks of fast food this was a huge blessing!

- Our van needed to be fixed. We had been quoted between $400-1000 for the repairs. In the end the auto shop called and told us it was a minor issue after all. They charged us $50 total. I was amazed at how honest they were - they could have faked it all and walked away with our money. I would take my vehicle to them any day!

- Ryan and Bethany and their family for being so willing to bring two more children into an already busy home and show them the same kind of love and care they would receive at home! Not many people would be willing to do this!

- BIG BLESSING - We have found a mother's helper for the month of July! Cousin John had recommended her and today I went for lunch with her and her mother. We had a good chat and discussed a lot of the details. Shyann will be staying with us during the weeks and then going home on weekends. This means that Nathan is going to the Close family reunion this weekend and bringing the kids back with him!! I am so happy to have my kids home soon! Three weeks feels like a lifetime to me! I am so thankful for Shyann and her mother! If not for them the kids would have had to stay in Spokane until August most likely. I can't bear the thought of being away from them for that long.

Prayer Item - the only thing that will crash all our plans for the summer is if something goes horribly wrong and I end up being hospitalized until the baby comes. If that happens then the kids cannot come home at all - possibly for another 8 weeks. Please pray that this does not happen! I will be totally understanding if it does, but the mommy instincts are kicking in and I just want my family back again as soon as possible!

Bedrest

2008-06-03T23:22:00.000-07:00

I'll make this short and sweet because I need some sleep! Last night was admitted into the hospital with a touch of pre-term labour. I am now on modified bedrest. We are looking for a mother's helper for the rest of June and July - live in or out. If anybody is interested, let me know! It will be mainly childcare with a little housekeeping as I am supposed to be avoiding lifting or taking the stairs too often. I'll be home all the time except for Doctor appointments, so it'll be more of a partnership than me being gone all the time!

I'd better get to bed before my fingers forget how to type! Thank goodness for spell check!

Yeah - I'm AWOL Again...

2008-05-28T20:30:00.000-07:00

So here is the break down of why I have not had the time or energy to blog lately!

A) We are moving! Again! yes - this seems to be the yearly ordeal for our family. Everytime we turn around our little family is getting bigger and the space that we have is just not cutting it. Right now we have no yard for the kids to play in and not enough space in our little duplex for the kids to get their vast amounts of energy out. Saturday we get the keys to our new rental home. It's only about 10k from here, so it's close by. We'll finally have a nice sized back yard that is totally fenced in as well as a good sized house and (bonus!) a garage!! The next couple weeks are going to be taken up with packing, unpacking and cleaning. I'm looking forward to having it all done before this baby comes. Conroy will love having so much space to play and be active this summer.

B) I'm 27 weeks pregnant and about to enter my third and final trimester. I'm huge and just a little bit crazy making a major move at this point. I'm trying not to think about it, but when the little one kicks me in the bladder hard enough to make me pee a little, it makes me wonder what on earth we were thinking. Oh yeah - I was thinking about making it through a summer being unable to walk very well while trying to entertain two toddlers in a very hot house with no back yard.

C) We got a new(er) van! In all my years I have never put forth so much effort in the purchase of a vehicle. After three weeks of driving all over town, test driving and researching consumer reports we settled on an older Honda Odyssey. So far I am pretty confident in the decision and I love the new van - especially having sliding doors on both sides! I had no idea how much easier they would make travel with the kids!

D) Conroy is going to be 3 on Saturday! I can't believe that it's been three years already! It seems like yesterday and forever ago that I gave birth to my little man! I can barely remember the person I was back then. I barely remember what he looked like as a baby! I have to go back and look at pictures to remind myself every so often. My little baby boy has grown in to a 40" boy. He is tall and blond with bright blue eyes. He is non-stop action and has so many questions and assumptions about the world. I love watching him take everything in.

So that is what is going on in our live right now. I have no idea when I will find time to blog again, but you can always check my Facebook status if you are so inclined.

I Am Not Spiritual - An Essay Not By Me

2008-04-15T19:52:00.000-07:00

But it may as well be. Aside from the in-depth scriptural references this essay nailed it on the head for me tonight. I was searching for something - anything - that could identify how I feel about my own relationship with God. I have been trying in vain for a couple years now to figure out what I was missing out on that so many others seem to have. I say "seem" because we all know how easy it is to fake spirituality.

http://www.internetmonk.com/articles/S/spiritual.html

Anyway, I'm no theology professor - that was confirmed when I received a 1.8 GPA in Bible College. So feel free to discuss amongst yourselves. What I got out of this is the idea that there may be absolutely nothing wrong with my faith or my belief in the Bible and God. Maybe there are other people out there who are just like me but have a hard time saying it when it seems like everybody else around us is "feeling" God and we are not. Maybe I just wasted the last ten years trying to find something I never lost in the first place because I was too busy trying to figure out what I was missing, instead of just being faithful. Maybe I'm a little bitter about it.

The Love/Hate Relationship With My Monkey

2008-04-13T20:27:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday I packed the kids into the car at 9 am and drove down to Lethbridge to visit Tanya and her family. We had been planning to do it for months and something always got in the way. Well, I finally had the chance and jumped at it. Tanya is about my age but has 5 kids (4 girls and a boy!) and I was looking forward to chatting with someone who has kiddos the same age as mine. Specifically of the male gender. Only another parent of a 2 year old boy can possibly know what it is like to raise a 2 year old of the male species. Her baby man and mine are going through a lot of the same things and it was nice to talk to somebody who knew what you meant when you griped about temper tantrums and difficulty in disciplining strong willed little boy.

After a yummy lunch of pancakes and whipped cream we headed over to a nearby park. On the way there Conroy sat with Kellen in the double stroller while I pushed Camryn in our little umbrella stroller. Tanya "wore" baby Bella and the older three girls walked. We discussed the way in which to train a child to stay close to you while walking and not run away. Conroy has been a bolter for as long as I can remember. He has run on to the street numerous times and nearly given me a heart attack every time. It seemed like no matter what I did I just could not get him to understand why he should stay nearby and no amount of warnings, scoldings, etc. was working. When he was about 18 months old we lived on a very busy main road and it was up to me to get him out to the car in the mornings while carrying everything else needed for the workday at the same time. I broke down and bought him a Monkey - it's a little harness with a Monkey backpack. The "tail" is a leach that hangs down the back. It allowed us to get to and from the car safely with all our gear and I didn't have to worry about him running into traffic. He also enjoyed the freedom as he would absolutely not hold hands most of the time.

Well, that 18 month old is nearly 3 now and it seems that I am still having to rely on Monkey a lot of the time. It's partly my own safety net and partly his. He still hates holding hands with me. But he is also starting to demand his freedom from the harness. He often says he wants to "walk himself" and if I deem it safe I will let him hold the tail while we walk - as long as he stays close to me or holds onto the stroller. This works for about 30 seconds - then he gives me a sideways mischievous glance and breaks into a fast sprint - giggling the whole way! This gives me only one option - chase after the little booger. A couple problems with that. 1) I am usually pushing Camryn in a stroller at the time and 2) I am 5 months pregnant and getting to the point that a fast waddle is all I can handle. and 3) my pelvic joint pain is setting in, making waking hard enough, forget sprinting with a stroller and 5 months of baby weight bouncing about my midsection.

One thing he almost never does is pull on the monkey to the point that he falls over - he did this for me on Tuesday causing him to crash land on the pavement and burst into tears. Honestly, I have never been so embarrassed! I felt like a terrible mom.The poor kid just wanted to have his freedom like the older girls and here I was making him walk with monkey. All good intentions regarding safety aside, I felt for the poor guy. So, I took a chance and let him walk by himself with a stern request that he stay on the sidewalk and stay close to me. The roads were not busy and with the older girls there I felt like there was a little less chance that he would run off. He still wandered quite a bit, but overall he did pretty good. Tanya was telling me that it was a lot of repetition and constantly talking them through it, but that one day it would click. After that walk I feel a little more confident that my wild child will probably outgrow his impulsiveness to run (like when he saw a crow in the street and suddenly ran to see if he could get closer) and will learn that certain things are just plain dangerous.

After our walk we came back to the house and I changed the kids and got them all packed up for the drive home. By 6:30 we were back in our own living room and I was changing them again. I don't know that this means the end of Monkey for us just yet. But I think it does mean that I am a little more willing to let go of that safety net. I will probably just wait to do it until I am more physically capable of chasing my boy should I need to!

Oh - and I am officially going to be a baby wearer! Tanya let me try her mei tai wrap and I am in love with it! I think it'll make things that much easier once we have three little ones here - especially since I am not about to splurge on a triple stroller! LOL!

I'm Behind...Again

2008-04-12T21:44:00.000-07:00

Ok - so my blogging is definitely not at the top of my to do list lately. Even Facebook has taken a back seat to other more pressing issues. Like laundry, dental appointments and play dates. Here is a quick recap since my last blog...

My sewing has been shoved into the basement once again. We were expecting a lot of visitors over the next bit and I didn't want it sitting out on the dining table for the whole time. A sewing machine does not double as a chic center piece no matter how you try to spin it. I am now on the hunt for the perfect purple fabric for the girl's room. Once I find that I'll set up camp again and get back to it.

Brittany came over for a day of scrapbooking a couple weeks ago - it was so much fun to sit around and gab and be creative! It had just been too long! She mentioned maybe setting up a Scrapbook day at the church next month and I am going to look into it - I think it would be a great thing and there are other ladies in the church who would enjoy it as well. I just have to get on it since May is arriving quickly and they already have the ladies retreat scheduled for the end of the month.

Our little girl is 1 year old!! Her b-day was April 7th, but we had her party last night (Friday). It was a great success and she very much enjoyed the attention and the ice cream cake. Except the part where she tried to pick up the whole piece with he hand and then got mad at the cake for being too cold on her little hands! After that she screamed at the cake between bites, but loved it too much to actually stop eating. We had a small affair here with just my parents, Nathan's parents and my sister. It was plenty and it made me realize that if I want to have a bunch of littles over for Conroy's B-day I am going to need a bigger living room! LOL! Maybe I can rent out the gym at the church for that too...

Nathan's parents came up to visit this week. It was so fun to have them here but the days went too fast - especially with a birthday party to plan. But the kids were overjoyed with all the attention and had a blast. We may not see them again until after Baby "C" is born, but then I also know that August is not that far away - I'm more than halfway through baking this baby!

Our family is sick - again. Seriously, how many colds can a family get in one year? I have been coughing my lungs out for the past three days and am actually only awake right now because every time I lie down it feels like my lungs are drowning. I should probably get that checked out, but I am not exactly excited about the prospect of sitting in a walk in clinic for three hours just to have a GP tell me I have a cold. I figure as long as I can breathe enough to stay conscious I must be alright....right?

Things overheard in the Close household lately...

"Abra-cadabra - PUKE!!!"

"Shake-A-Booty!"

"Atchoo!" (This is officially Camryn's first word other than Mama and Dada)

Sewing Mania!!!

2008-03-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

Nathan probably isn't thrilled that my sewing projects have taken up half the living room - but I am proud to have produced two wearable dresses this week!

Teething Kind of Sucks

2008-03-25T07:15:00.000-07:00

What a crappy night. I managed to get the kids to sleep pretty good. Even my DS was good and went to bed well. I've been having problems getting him to sleep at a good hour. He'll go to bed at 8 but then sit in his bed and play till 10. I told him last night that his toys needed to sleep and so he had to be really quiet. Totally worked! LOL!

BUT DD is teething and at 2:30 she was up and screaming...until 4:30am. She woke her brother up and DH and I spent over an hour convincing them both to go back to bed. DH finally got back to sleep at 4:30 but his alarm went off at 5. Poor guy. At least the kids let me sleep until quarter to eight. Normally they have me up at 6:30.

I'm supposed to be picking DH up downtown at noon today - I think I'll make him a special lunch and bring him an extra large Tim Horton's coffee today. He's probably sleep walking through his day. It's the only thing I don't miss about working full time. I hated the nights I only slept 3-4 hours and still had to be at the office for an 8am meeting!

How on earth am I ever going to sleep with three little ones so close in age??

The Results Are...

2008-03-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

We are expecting another girl! Yaaaaayyyyyy!

Before You Have Kids

2008-03-22T09:10:00.000-07:00

Thinking of Having Kids?
Do this 15 step program first!

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their:

1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breast-feeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.

Eat cold food with one hand for dinner.

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag,until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work
(work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years.

Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

1. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it into an alligator.

2. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle .

3. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty
packet of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

Lesson 7

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can
leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look likethat.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them
into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them wit your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 8

1. Get ready to go out.

2. Sit on the floor of your bathroom reading picture books for half an hour.

3. Go out the front door.

4. Come in again. Go out.

5. Come back in.

6. Go out again.

7. Walk down the front path.

8. Walk ba ck up i t.

9. Walk down it again.

10. Walk very slowly down the sidewalk for five minutes.

11. Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about
every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insectalong the way.

12. Retrace your steps.

13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you.

14. Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9

Repeat everything you have learned at least (if not more than) five times.

Lesson 10

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing
you can find to a preschool child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 11

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pr etending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 12

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 13

Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfway and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.

Lesson 14

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each
'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required).Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else
continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll l get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent

I Spoil My Kids

2008-03-19T19:32:00.001-07:00

Ans even my kid thinks so! Conroy went upstairs to bed and after a bit he called down to ask for something. Nathan went up to re-tuck him in and told him that he had so many cars on his bed that there was no room left for him to sleep. Then he told him that Mommy spoils him. Conroy just grinned and said "Yeah..."

I have fallen in love. He's big, strong and has a ton of interior room. He is the 2008 Dodge Grand Caravan! I hauled the kids down to the Dodge dealership at 7am to have more child safety latches installed on the van and while we were waiting I took Conroy on a vehicle tour in the showroom. He loved the big trucks, but I fell for the mini-van! I really am not a huge van of Chrysler vans. We had one when I was a kid and it was such a lemon - left us on the side of the road several times and cost a small fortune in repairs. But the features on the new Caravan are great. I could fit 4 car seats AND a double stroller in that thing without breaking a sweat. This morning as I tried to squeeze our double stroller into the Plymouth I wanted to scream. The trick is to shove it into the space between the passenger sliding door and the middle row seats and then pull the door closed as fast as you can before it falls out again. What a pain. Three hours and a couple tantrums later we were on our way home again. I think the perfect van would have all the features of the Chrysler with the reliability of a Honda. Until then my Plymouth will do the trick.

I Didn't Jump

2008-03-15T23:06:00.000-07:00

Do you blame me? I'm 4 freaking months pregnant! However cousin John did jump and has done an excellent job recounting it in writing. I highly suggest you take a peek over there. Just click on the John and Angie link to your left. It's worth it. Trust me.

While John was jumping out of planes I was here - like always. Boo hoo, pity party for me. I'm over it now. I need to refocus my energy onto living life through my kids. I wonder if I have become a boring mom. I look at Conroy and he is at that stage in life where everything is bigger and better. Nothing seems old or boring. He does not have a "been there, done that" attitude. Even Camryn whoops it up on a daily basis. If you asked her the highlight of her day she would tell you all about her trip up three stairs before mommy dragged her behind back to the main floor. She is such a thrill seeker.

Overheard

2008-03-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

Conroy: Mommy you blew it! (He was asking me to blow up a balloon.)

Conroy: Mommy I crapped it! (He was trying to say he trapped it...LOL!)

Sha la la la la la la

2008-03-10T20:32:00.001-07:00

My mom called me out the other day for not blogging more often! I try - really I do! Let's see - what's new around here?

I hit up Value Village the other day for some clothes for the kids. I was just tickled at the bargains I can get there! I bought Camryn about 6 new outfits, four jackets for all of us and a couple toys for Conroy - all for under $40! I am amazed at some of the things you can get for a couple dollars. The clothes I got Camryn don't even look like they were worn (and maybe they weren't) and the same thing with the jackets. I love a good deal and it just kills to me spend money on something new from a retail store when I can get the same thing second hand.

I lost Conroy at Value Village as well. The past few weeks I have been teaching him the art of consumerism and reinforcing that we do not play with toys or eat food until it has been paid for. Well, he listens very well and while I was browsing a rack he took off on me. I look everywhere for him and started to panic. I couldn't even hear him and he is a pretty loud kid! After a couple frantic moments I headed up to the checkout to alert the staff that there was a missing 2 year old in the store and here he was - he had taken a couple toys up to the front of the store and put them on an empty till counter. he then proceeded to jump up and down excitedly when he say me shouting "I pay for it! I pay for it!" . LOL - I was so relieved to see he was OK that I even bought him the toys.

My parents and sister came over for Mom's birthday on Sunday afternoon. It has been a while since we all got together and we had a good time visiting and playing with the kids. Ok - the girl's visited while the boy's watched basketball! LOL! The kids loved the extra attention and Conroy was thrilled to have Grandma over. She is his favorite play mate by far. He dragged her outside to play soccer and played cars. When it was time for them to leave he went and got his shoes and announced that he was "away going to Ma's house!" with her. Sorry buddy, but Grandma has to work tomorrow! We also told him that because it was Grandma's birthday she got to take the left over cake home with her. This earned us a loud "No fair!!" from Conroy! Camryn got to visit a little and then was sent upstairs for a nap. She awoke just in time to say goodbye to everybody. I don't think she was nearly as upset about the cake as Conroy was.

Well, I guess it is time for me to get off to bed. I have been experiencing a good deal of pregnancy insomnia lately. Last night I stayed up until midnight and then was wide awake at quarter to 5 - courtesy of a little boy who was adamant that it was morning. I think I finally fell back asleep at about 6 and then the kids were nice enough to let me sleep until 8! Yay!!! After several mornings of being up at 6:30 that was a welcome surprise! I should get used to it. I usually start losing sleep at this point and it only gets worse! That is a lot of sleep to lose over a 4 year time period!

My Waffle! Get Your Own!

2008-03-05T20:10:00.001-08:00

Sorry, I Had A Dry Spell

2008-03-05T19:27:00.000-08:00

I really didn't realize how long it had been since I last blogged. I think of things to write and almost as soon as I think about it, it's forgotten. I'll have to start keeping a pencil and paper close by to jot things down as I go along my day!

I don't have much to share by way of personal news. I'm in that slump where nothing new happens baby wise until you find out the gender. I don't feel any movement. I'm only showing enough to notice that my pants aren't fitting so well anymore and I wear maternity clothes because I'm bored with all my other things.

I guess the one word that could sum things up right now is "blah". I don't know if it's hormones but everything feels so "been there, done that". Cooking dinner? Done it. Laundry? Did it last week. I have the biggest urge to pack the kids up one morning and just drive far, far away until we find something new and interesting to explore! My inner gypsy is coming out and screaming for attention!

Mmmm...yummy...

2008-02-21T18:49:00.000-08:00

I am savoring the ultimate pregnancy treat... a tub of Creamsicle Swirl ice cream. Yep - the tub baby. Forget the bowl it's a tub kind of night. Running the spoon around the outside of the tub where the ice cream has softened just enough to make it almost like a mousse....mmmmm.....

And the moment is lost. Another thing about pregnancy. The one thing you craved the most can suddenly become the one thing you gag on. Goodbye ice cream!

I think I'd like some V8 juice and dill pickles now! Yummmy!!!

Welcome!

2008-02-20T21:27:00.001-08:00

It is official - if you are reading this then it is because you have been specially selected to view the masterpiece that is my blog. If you can't read this then you need to read more often cause hey - I did give you a week to tell me that you are a regular reader. Not my fault if you don't have your priorities straight.

Kidding - I know some people missed the roll call and that is cool - you'll let me know in time!

That said I am keeping this short and sweet tonight. Camryn had me up at the very uncool time of 6am and we had a busy day between Mom's & Tot's and then the zoo for the rest of the day. It is time for some much needed sleep!

What Happened

2008-02-13T14:20:00.000-08:00

I guess I can let you all know what happened to make me password my blog. It was an unfortunate event and made me much more aware of internet security!

I am a regular poster on a board for mom's. Friday I posted a thread and had a differing opinion from somebody else. The next thing I knew I was being attacked and called all sorts of awful things. Normally I would let this slide and ignore it as I can't expect everybody to agree with me when it comes to parenting. However, I was not aware that the signature I had recently created and stored in my photobucket account was linkable. In other words, anybody could click on my signature and poof! They could see all my photobucket detail and pictures. To make matters worse they saw pictures from when Camryn was in the NICU after she was born and began to attack me in that matter - blaming me for her being born early. I was horrified at A) somebody would link into something I thought had been set as private and B) that someone would use pictures of my daughter to attack my character. Thankfully a kinder person on the board notified me of this. My photobucket account was immediately changed to be password protected, but I didn't feel any safer and so I deleted it. I also requested the mommy board to delete my information and then re-signed on using a generic hotmail address and all new, slightly fake info. I also realized that when it came to creating accounts on the internet I had been using similar handles and names. I have changed my blog privacy settings, but I still have a sense of paranoia about it all. I would just rather that people who want to read my blog have the password - that way I know the people reading and responding. Especially since I do post photos and names of my family.
I'm still a little upset because I basically cut ties with all the people I have regularly posted with since I was on bedrest with Conroy. But I would rather start all over than have some crazy person stalking me and my family because they think I am " a worthless human being".

Roll Call

2008-02-13T09:09:00.000-08:00

I had an unfortunate experience last week on a mommy chat board - and as a result I am going to password protect this blog. So - if you are a regular reader and would like the password, please let me know and I will make sure you are added to my list of regular readers. I will wait until next week to put the password in place.

The Silver Lining

2008-02-13T08:33:00.000-08:00

I can see clearly now...the flu is gone....

Or whatever it was we all had. I still have a touch of it and so does Conroy, but we are starting to return to normal around here. I took Conroy into the doctor on Monday morning as he was complaining that his ear hurt, and sure enough he had developed an ear infection. I had an ultrasound right after that appointment so we rushed to Angie's and I dropped the kids off then headed to my ultrasound. It was very quick - but I got to see Baby "C"! He/she looked good and I saw the little heart beating. It was too early to tell if Baby is a boy or a girl "C", but I am just happy that everything is OK. I had some concerns since I have not gained any weight yet nor have I grown very much. I realized mid-way through the test that the tech was scanning much higher than I thought - so I must be carrying higher than I did with the other two.

By the time I got back from the ultrasound it was almost 4pm. I thought about taking Conroy to get his prescription but he was so miserable and the cold air seemed to really hurt his ear. So instead we packed up and went home. When Nathan got home from work I headed out to Safeway for the antibiotics and a couple other things. I guess Nathan had a fun evening while I was gone. Conroy was complaining that his face and nose hurt from wiping it so much. I have been using Vaseline to make it better. Conroy calls it "cream". So Nathan was in the living room with Camryn and Conroy brings him a bottle of Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion - and asks for cream on his face. Nathan assumed it was what I had been using and put it on. Turns out the lotion causes a horrible sting and poor Conroy proceeded to sob for the next 15 minutes until the sting went away. We started him on some antibiotics that night and by morning he looks ten times better and started acting like himself again. Helpful mommy tip of the day for Monday - diaper cream worked really well on a face that is red and chapped from too much nose wiping! And if your little one won't let you near his face - get him to put the cream on himself. It's messy, but worth it!

Tuesday was another uneventful day. I had a lot of plans to get stuff done around the house but the kids decided that they needed my attention more than I needed to paint trim. Look like today is going to be the same. The kids are doing much better so I considered taking them to Home Depot and Superstore, but one look at the roads and I changed my mind. We got a dump of snow last night and apparently it is bad all over. Hopefully we can get out of the house tomorrow! Even if it is just to get groceries!

2008-02-07T14:39:00.000-08:00

Conroy comes up behind me and grabs my leg. How sweet, my poor sick boy wants a hug from his Mommy. No - he just wants something to wipe his runny nose on. Yuck.

We're on day 11 of lock down here. Camryn is still nursing a leaky nose but Conroy is in full sicky mode including a temperature of 102.6. My loud and active toddler has been replaced by a couch potato with a growly cough. When he is not watching TV with blankets all over him he is following me around saying things like "nose running" and "me cold" in a pathetically raspy voice. He gets that from me. The pathetic part I mean.

Being at home all the time has it advantages. I can grow my leg hair as long as I like and nobody notices. Housework gets chipped away at slowly because hey - I can always do it tomorrow. I don't worry about looking good because nobody will see me, and despite all this I have gotten lots of cuddles from sick littles who just want their mommy. No matter what she looks like :)

Adventures in Potty Land

2008-02-04T21:08:00.000-08:00

I had to share this - I wanted to laugh so hard, but I managed to hold it in until after Conroy was in bed.

After bath tonight I asked Conroy if he wanted to use the potty. Since his actual potty was downstairs I suggested he do it "like Daddy". He agreed and so for lack of anything else I pulled the bathroom scale up to the toilet and let him stand on that. He did very good and was so proud of himself! I was congratulating him when suddenly...the bathroom scale slipped! I had neglected to notice the bath water on the floor and the scale flew backwards as Conroy leaned forwards - sending his head smashing into the back of the toilet, both arms into the toilet and his legs flying out backwards! Ahhhh!!!! He was more scared by it than anything and I was more grossed out than anything else! The full humour didn't really hit me until later when I was telling my mom about it!
I washed him up again, gagged a little and sent the poor boy off to bed. I hope this doesn't give him some fear of toilets as he gets older...

My Poor Baby

2008-02-03T18:49:00.000-08:00

Camryn is the poor baby of the week! Monday she came down with a bad cold with a fever and by Friday I decided it had gone on long enough. We took her to the ER at the Children's hospital and they looked her over and gave her a chest x-ray. She has RSV and Bronchialitis. Poor baby! She is really trying hard to be a happy baby but there are times she just gives that look and awww.. it breaks my heart!

As a result of Camryn's illness we have once again been housebound all week. I'm getting really sick of staring at these walls everyday. It would be different if we had a larger area or even a play room, but we are confined to our 500 sq ft of space day in and day out. Conroy has been going a little mad with cabin fever. I would love to get him out of the house, but there is no way I am taking Camryn anywhere I don't have to. Besides, as of yesterday I have been hit with a cold as well! I'm just waiting for Conroy to pick it up...should be any day now! Having a cold as an adult really isn't that bad - but being pregnant with a cold is particularly evil, as we can't take anything to alleviate the symptoms.

Sorry this post is such a downer. Here are some good things that I can look forward to this week! Thursday is my first ultrasound! I'm 12 weeks along right now and looking forward to my first peek at Baby "C". Maybe they can even peek and tell what if we are most likely having a boy or a girl! I know it is not totally accurate at this stage, but it would be fun to see which way Baby is growing, if you will. Is it an "innie" or an "outie"? Hee hee! It will also be nice to nail down a real due date - with both the other kids they changed my due date after the first ultrasound, usually I was not as far along as I thought I was. Right now my EDD is August 14th. Based on how I feel and how I have not grown, I am betting I am really only 10 weeks along - but we will see!

I'm trying to really hard to think of positive stuff here...ummm...Nathan was super sweet this weekend and gave me a couple mornings of serious sleep in time! It was much needed since I am up most of the night with Camryn. Then he did a ton of house cleaning and even did the grocery shopping! That was great as I really was not up to it. He took Conroy sledding for the first time yesterday as well! It was finally warm enough yet we also still had some snow. He had a blast and came home telling all about how he went "flipping down the mountain!" LOL! Nathan said he loved it and they would have stayed longer if it weren't still so chilly out. We have had a cold snap here this week and it finally is warming up a little.

Conroy also had an interesting morning today. At 5:30 am both the kids were up and so Nathan took them downstairs while I went back to bed. Nathan had stayed up pretty late and ended up falling asleep on the couch with Camryn. Well, Conroy decided to help himself to more breakfast. He went into our pantry and grabbed the one snack I never let him have - a bag of chocolate chips! He dumped them onto the sofa and proceeded to watch cartoons while popping chocolate chips! By the time Nathan woke up there was only a handful left and Conroy was bouncing off the walls! He didn't calm down until about 3pm when his mood crashed and we sent him to bed for a nap. Boy did he ever need it by then!

It Is I - Captain Vegetable!!!

2008-01-30T11:49:00.000-08:00

No! Wait! Let me take a minute here...

(sounds of deep breathing)

That's better - nothing like breathing in the silence to make a person's brain unwind. I'm not sure if Conroy is reading or sleeping, but he is being quiet and that is won-der-ful!! Camryn is definitely asleep. She could hardly keep her eyes open long enough to finish lunch. She woke up with a cough and a runny nose this morning. Now she is all cuddly and such a momma's girl! Conroy on the other hand is going stir crazy after being cooped up in the house for three days in a row. It is just too darn cold to take them anywhere, especially with Camryn being under the weather. I'm not even sure the car would start - it hasn't been plugged in.

Not a whole lot to report here. We're just trudging along, doing our usual thing. The past couple weekends my mom has come in to spend Saturday with us and then stayed over night. Conroy is loving it as he has gotten to do a couple extra special things. Last week we went swimming at the wave pool. The kids loved it and even Camryn enjoyed it. She mostly sat on my lap splashing in the water with her hands - looking amazed when it hit her face. This weekend while Nathan and Camryn napped we took Conroy to the Science Center to see a Bob the Builder exhibit. It was all interactive and there were lots of activities for the little ones. Conroy had a blast! I'm pretty sure we'll make a trip back there again in the next few months. Most of the exhibits are too old for him, but they have a Creative Kids Workshop that is a huge center with all kinds of sensory activities for kids. They have magnetic walls, velcro walls, floors that make music and an area where you can do air band on a stage! He loved that and put on a guitar and proceeded to "play" in a band with a couple older boys. Too cute! I wish I had a camera with me, but instead I took a video on my cell phone. I have no idea if I can transfer it to the computer, but maybe!

Conroy's new favorite thing is air guitar. We don't know who taught it to him, but wow does he ever get into it! And he has his own way too - my mom tried to do it but he told her she was doing it wrong. He does it and sings at the same time - LOL! The first time I saw him do it he was serenading Camryn while I changed her diaper. She enjoyed it and I had a good giggle as well!

Here's something that passed under the radar! Nathan and I are a year older! Last week he turned 34 and I turned 29. The poor guy had his years confused and on the same day we discovered I was pregnant he realized that he was turning 34 this year - not 33. He said that was a hard day for him. For me, the hard day will be next year. When I turn 30 and he turns 35. After that I'm going to stop counting.

I Have A Secret!

2008-01-21T07:14:00.000-08:00

Just kidding - LOL. Sorry Tanya, I was stumped for a title today and I liked yours so much I had to steal it.

There aren't many secrets here today. Conroy is baring it all to the world in the hopes that I may have him potty trained before March. After several failed attempts over the past six months to train the boy I discovered the secret. My son is lazy. We were hanging out in the bathroom one day getting ready to take a shower. I had already disrobed him and he suddenly ran over to his potty and used it! The next day same thing. The boy is simply lazy. If he has a diaper or training pants on he doesn't bother with the potty. If I leave him in the buck he appears to have all his senses about him and uses it properly. So this morning I got him up and put him on the potty right away. His diaper had stayed dry all night. He peed and then we got dressed again and went downstairs for breakfast. After breakfast I again stripped him down to just a shirt and socks and have let him run free since. No accidents and he has already used the potty. Yay! I think I may have found the key to potty training my child. This is good as I was not looking forward to shelling out a ton of money to diaper three kids at once. Now if we can wean Camryn off formula and manage to breastfeed the next kid my monthly baby bills should take a sharp drop!

Not a whole lot else has been happening here. Tomorrow is Nathan's 34th B-day and I have not decided what to do for him yet. He doesn't read my blog so I can speculate on here fairly safely. I'm thinking a cake and ice cream, lasagna for supper and a quiet evening at home with the kids. Since he has to work the next day it's not like we can stay up extra late or anything. He hasn't mentioned anything that he wants and since both our birthdays are so soon after Christmas we never buy each other gifts.

I woke up to a message from my best friend Kristy this morning! She is in Mozambique and I guess I missed her on MSN chat. :( I'm a little sad that I missed her but from what I hear she and hubby Bob are doing well and enjoying the adventure!

Well, I can't think of anything else terribly important to blog about this morning other than my son's potty habits. Mom's are funny that way.

LOL - Conroy just brought me a "kitty cat movie" and asked if he could watch it. It's Pet Sematary. LOL! No dear - you can't watch that movie!

Don't Drink The Water

2008-01-16T14:46:00.000-08:00

Whew! That's the first time I have washed my kitchen floor in ages! Don't get too grossed out- it wasn't so bad, just that our back door opens into the kitchen so there was a lot of snow/mud mess in that area. FINALLY I am getting some energy back. I'm 10 weeks along now and I think the morning sickness is pretty much gone. I'm still dead tired by 10pm but oh well - in another few weeks I'll have insomnia and make up for it then.

Our kids are back and the house feels normal again! Loud and crazy and messy - all the things a young family should be. With my renewed sense of energy I have managed to complete a lot of things that had been put on the back burner. I finally patched a couple holes in our walls, did some painting and we even managed to get some work in the basement done, though not as much as we hoped to. It's still a disaster zone down there but now everything is separated into piles. We really need some shelving down there to get everything put away properly, but that can be pretty expensive so it will have to wait.

Our Mom's & Tot's group in back in action and we had a loud and boisterous morning! People arrived late so we really just spent most of the time catching up and laughing over the fact that there are now three of us who are pregnant! One is due a couple weeks before me and another is due a couple weeks after. We are all expecting #3 and Jamie actually has a boy and girl the same ages as Conroy and Camryn as well. We must have the same fertility cycle or something! LOL!

This afternoon I decided to focus all my energy on my kitchen. it look tons better than it did a week ago and I don't get stressed out just walking in there anymore. I used to use the kitchen table for all my quilting and scrap booking. It was such a mess! We have relocated all that into the basement where I am setting up office. Now my kitchen looks like - well, a less cluttered kitchen! And I can breathe again!

Tea And Sympathy

2008-01-13T20:14:00.000-08:00

I should be going to bed but I can't. My body is exhausted but my brain is still reeling with information and ideas. Every so often the right side of my brain goes into overdrive and I have to do something - anything - to get settled down. When I was a teenager it seemed like my mind was in constant overdrive. I couldn't concentrate on anything and I would pick up a pencil and my art pad. I still have that pad and it is flowing with dark images and sketches of chaos. I'm not sure when but somewhere between the ages of 20 and 25 that part of me has slowly been receding into the farthest corners of my mind. Every so often it shown up again. This is about the same time that Nathan declares I am throwing one of my fits again. Only now I release it with mad bursts of cleaning and moving furniture. Maybe I should find that art pad again. Like right now. Besides, I already spent all day cleaning and moving furniture and it hasn't really helped much.

I miss my kids.

It's Quiet - And I Feel Guilty

2008-01-12T22:59:00.000-08:00

For liking the quiet that is. And as I write that the buzzer sounds and the blinds are up. Yup - we're at it again. At our friend's place playing poker. Nathan took me out on a nasty hand. I flopped a flush and he trumped me with four of a kind. For those who are unaware of poker hands - pretty much the only hand that could have beat mine. It was bad. So here I sit at midnight, fighting to stay awake and chewing green sea salt toffee. Yum.

My mother dropped by this evening. I have not blogged for a while and she couldn't get me on the phone so her and Dad dropped by to see how we were. The truth is we are doing OK. On Tuesday we met Nathan's parents in Montana and left the kids with them. This is the longest time I have ever been apart from my kids. And I do feel guilty - for not missing them as much as I think I should. Instead I am celebrating the fact that I have been able to finish the painting we started back when we first moved in. Celebrating the 12 hours of sleep per night. Celebrating the lack of tantrums and diapers. Celebrating the quiet.

I do miss the kids - I just think that after so many months of sleepless nights combined with first trimester symptoms has taken it's toll on me. By Christmas I was wandering around in a daze most of the time. Then we all got sick. Morning sickness is bad enough without adding a cold into the mix. I am relishing the rest and more than anything the sleep. For the first time in a few weeks I woke up feeling rested and energetic. I spent almost all day painting. All that is left is the trim now and that should not take too long tomorrow.

Monday we get the kids back and then it's back to normal around here. I'm sure I'll miss them by then. Right?

2007-12-31T08:07:00.000-08:00

Ah pregnancy. The only time in a womans life when she will smell a dirty diaper from 50 ft away. The only time when sleep becomes such a crucial aspect of life that lack of it will drive a seemingly quiet person to want to throw a chair through a window. The time when a letter to Dear Abby can drive you to tears and the worst thing you can do is listen to sad country music while driving on icy streets. Black ice is hard to see through a river of tears.

I need a moment to rant today. Camryn has a cold and after four nights with little to no sleep I have reached the edge of reason. Suddenly it is perfectly logical to feed my two year old Christmas Candy for breakfast. Why cause a fight resulting in more stress now? I still find the exhaustion more than a little frustrating. I'm sure Nathan does not understand. After Camryn was bom I averaged 3-5 hours of sleep per night, rarely took naps and still managed to spend 8 hours a day painting a house and packing to move. And I did most of it with a smile on my face. He can't seem to grasp how much the human body does in these first three months to prepare itself. And how much energy it requires. Here is a quick re-cap in case any other husbands or boyfriends out there cannot figure out why their girlfriend of wife has become scarier than a Christmas fruitcake on the Fourth of July.

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977002393

So there is my sleep rant. I admit it lacks a little zest. I'm going to lie down on the couch now.

My Life Thus Far

2007-12-28T12:28:00.001-08:00

I got this off my Babycenter board and thought - why not? **Note** The photo is from grade eight - notice the big hair and bad perm?

1979 - I was born - and only a month late to boot. My mother was really not impressed.
1982 - My mother tells me I can't go outside with my PJ's on, so I got naked and then went outside. Unfortunately there are pictures to document this. The same year my parents separated. I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with my being a nudist.
1983 - I started kindergarten at age 4.
1984 - I chase a classmate through the school yard calling her a garbage patch kid. I was so mean!
1985 - We move this year and every year after that until I hit the 5th grade.
1986 - I spent the summer with my Dad - it became very obvious to me at that point that he was not ready to be a father. It was the last time I heard from him until I was 14.
1987 - Mom remarries and I get a stepfather and a step sister three years younger than myself.
1988 - We move halfway across the country. I loved it there and wished we never had to leave. But three years later we did. I got over it.
1989 - I started middle school.
1990 - I finally felt somewhat happy about going to school. I was no longer a social outcast - I think it was because I got the hang of personal hygiene.
1991 - I'm in grade 7 and get my first kiss! I dumped him the next day. I was only 12 and was more embarrassed than anything.
1992 - I'm back across the country and miserable. My hips and my nose grew - but nothing else did. Seriously - 44" hips at age 13. And I was still a AA. It was awkward.
1993 - High School! I go to a private school where 90% of the students are from Asia and here to learn English. It was pretty cool.
1994 - I spend a month in Guatemala and Nicaragua on a teen missions trip.
1995 - Nothing too amazing this year - I think I had fun though.
1996 - I graduated from high school at 17 and moved away. I got a job in another town and lived with my grandparents. There was no money for college so I decided to live a little.
1997 - I flew back across the country and embarked on an 8 week tour with a group called Challenge Team that promotes chastity and abstinence. I loved it! Met a guy on tour and that fall went to college where he did. The relationship didn't last but I really loved that year in school.
1998 - I went back on tour with the Challenge Team. Another great tour. Followed it up by going with the team to Ireland for a few weeks later that year. I swear I am going back some day! I had half a mind to not leave at all. If I'd had enough money I would have stayed. But something involving a security guard that looked like Mr.Bean stopped me.
1999 - Met my hubby to be at a slaughter house. Romantic huh?
2000 - Got married
2001 - 2002 - Nothing really happened. Just lived, worked, ate and slept. Did some partying and generally enjoyed being married and childless.
2004 - Found out I was pregnant two days before hubby was to get a vasectomy. We had decided not to have any kids. The vasectomy was cancelled, but too late to get our deposit back. Hubby was in an accident that year as well - we are finally almost finished with the settlement and lawsuit. It only took almost four years...
2005 - Conroy was born a week late and huge! 8lbs 14 oz. He looked like a giant compared to the other little 5lb babies in the nursery.
2006 - Got pregnant again just after starting a new job. Oops.
2007 - Camryn was born 5 weeks early. A couple weeks ago we found out that we are expecting again. How did we get from no babies to three aged three and under??
2008 - Got my minivan, opening a day home in the fall and thinking I may get the old tubes tied after this one! We'll see how things go with this pregnancy.

The Magic Of A Book

2007-12-27T19:23:00.000-08:00

It's the second night in a row that my house is quiet before 8pm. Normally at this time you can hear a little boy calling from his room "No want bed!" and "Want teddy bear! Want milk!". Conroy is not an easy kid to get to bed. He is good as gold for everybody but his dear, tired parents. But we received a Christmas gift this year that may have changed all that (or for a few nights anyway). Our friends Mike and Jess gave the kids a book of bedtime stories from around the world. The past couple nights I have sat down on Conroy's floor and read him stories until he falls asleep. It's wonderful to have a night time routine that does not involve tantrums and repeated trips upstairs to re-tuck him in.

We had a busy Christmas week here. Over the weekend the kids and I drove up to Drayton Valley with my parents to visit my grandmother and the rest of my Mom's family. I don't get up often so it was great to see everyone and chat. The kids had fun as well - sometimes a little too much. We had a big family dinner on Sunday and I made the mistake of letting Conroy run around with the other kids after dinner. It upset his stomach and he threw up all over my poor Grandma's bedroom. Thank goodness she has a small ensuite and I could quickly direct him to a toilet! But that was the only real hiccup during the trip. Otherwise it was a great visit.

A couple days before the weekend Conroy broke out in a red itchy rash on his back. After checking around a bit and making sure it was not measles or chicken pox my mom and I decided that it must be a reaction to something he ate. It would have made sense because last week I started letting him eat tofu. I had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday so we took Conroy in as well just to get it looked at. I was surprised when the doctor told me he had a staph infection! I have no idea how he managed that one - apparently it is very contagious though so it looks like the little boy will have to be kept at home until it clears up.

Christmas Eve we arrived home from Drayton. We hung out a bit at home, ordered dinner and then headed out for our church's Christmas Eve service. I guess it was too much in one day for the kids because Nathan and I both ended up in the foyer with them. They were just not interested in sitting quietly anymore. At home we got the kids ready for bed and then finally crashed pretty early ourselves.

Christmas morning! It took a little bit to get Conroy to realize that we were opening gifts. He loved all his new toys. It has been a while since he received new ones and we are now over run with cars! However, they have kept him very busy and that makes us both happy! Later in the evening we went over to a friends house for dinner. I was so exhausted, I must have been the most boring dinner guest. Conroy received more cars there and spent the entire evening playing. He must have been tired of visiting though because just before we got ready to leave, he packed up all the toys, brought them to front door and waved at everybody in the room "Bye!". LOL! So we packed up and came home. I was more than ready anyway - I had almost forgotten how exhausted you feel during the first trimester! By eight my eyes are sore and drooping. There have been nights I wondered if I would have the energy to get the kids into bed.

Today I decided it was time to get back into a routine and things cleaned up around here. We took down the tree and rearranged the furniture so that we have more room. Then I decided to move the crib into Conroy's room. I have decided to have them share a room. But first I needed to get her used to sleeping in a bedroom. She will sleep fine in her play pen downstairs but not in her crib. She wakes constantly - causing us to bring her into bed with us so that we can get some sleep! I spent about an hour wrangling the crib into Conroy's room. In the process however I lost one of the hooks that holds the spring mattress base up. The darn thing seemed to have disappeared. I went online to find a replacement and found a couple baby store here that may carry them. I called one up and asked about it, on;y to be told that these cribs were no longer considered safe and were not being made anymore. Turns out the plastic pieces that hold up the base can snap, causing the base to fall! Ack!!! By the end of the day the crib was dismantled. I guess Camryn will just have to sleep in the play pen for now. And I need a new crib.

**Update** Not that it mattered where Camryn slept last night. I don't think Nathan or I got much sleep. The poor girl has a cold and she cried for half the night. The other half of the night Conroy woke up saying he was scared of something and insisting he have a light on. About midnight I heard Nathan groan "I can't believe I have to be up in four hours...". Good times!

Homeless Partners Wish List

2007-12-18T12:58:00.000-08:00

I really didn't know how to write about this even though I really wanted to. So instead I want you to read John's blog http://johnandang.blogspot.com. John is Nathan's cousin and is far better with words than I am. But he pretty much sums up how I feel. I spent an evening entering in information for Homeless Partners and it just might have been the most painful night of my life this year. I kept having to stop and walk away to get grounded enough again to continue.
If you want to visit the official website it is at www.homelesspartners.com.

My Big Girl!

2007-12-17T07:51:00.000-08:00

It has been nearly nine months since Camryn joined us in the world! I can't believe how far she has come from the skinny 6lb baby I delivered to the nearly 20 lb mammoth she is now. This morning something happened that reinforced just how big she is getting.

She started crawling back in October, doing the army crawl all over the house. There has been a lot of practicing and rocking back and forth on her hands and knees, only to face plant into the carpet. She just grins and gets up again. She still isn't able to sit, but she does 'lounge' on her side a lot. I was in the kitchen getting Conroy his breakfast this morning. I had placed Camryn in the play pen. Our playpen has two levels and I had her on the one that leaves about 8 inches between the top of the pen and the mattress. I came around the corner and she had managed to pull herself up almost to a standing position! And boy was she proud!

In other news...we purchased a mini van this weekend! It's a 95 Plymouth Voyager. Nothing special, but it will get our growing family from point A to point B. It had a ridiculously low amount of Km on it for it's age and runs well. We had this choice to make - we could buy a 1996 van which has child seat latches and a nicer design with over 230000 km's on it. Or we could buy a 95 which is still the boxy shape and we need to install latches for the car seats - and it had only 143000 km's on it. So after much thought we opted for the older vehicle with less km. The rest is cosmetic.

My big plan here is that starting in late August, early September, I am going to be running a small day home. I plan to take on one or two kids. The money I make will go into savings and in another year to year and a half I would like to purchase a used Honda Odyssey van. They are super reliable and I have a lot of faith in the Honda name. So really, this is just a starter van for us. It is a little bit of a blast from the past as well - my parents had one just like it when I was kid.

My Photo!!!

2007-12-14T09:51:00.000-08:00

OK - what happened here? I spent waaaayyyy to much time yesterday getting that photo of Camryn on here to see it suddenly cut on half!

Cold Fingers

2007-12-11T15:16:00.000-08:00

My fingers are cold and it is causing my typing to be somewhat stop and go. But I'll make a solid attempt at this anyway!

Since the great News of Baby "C" things have been pretty busy around here. Sunday after church we came home and put the boys down for naps. Camryn and I had a girl's afternoon out that consisted of renting a movie (Pirates of the Caribbean III) and grocery shopping in a madeningly insane Superstore. We came home and shortly after Nathan and Conroy woke up. I made supper and we settled in for the evening. I had seen the movie in the theater with my step dad but couldn't really remember it all so it was fun for all!

Monday we woke to a decent amount of snow outside. We bundled everybody up and I drove Nathan to work. The kids and I had a pretty boring morning. I worked on our budget and the kids played. I bakes cookies while they napped and made supper and then put it into the slow cooker. At one point I glanced out our back window and the happy face of a large golden retriever was looking at me! Hugo, John and Angie's dog had taken it upon himself to leave his yard and come visit us. I called them up and John rounded Hugo back into his own yard. After naps I took Conroy over to John and Angie's around the corner. He fought me the whole way, insisting he did not want to go - until we got outside to get in the car. Then he started yelling (as though she could hear him) "AAAAANGIIIIIIIEEEEE! AAAANGIEEE!!!!" When we got to Angie's she offered to take Camryn as well. I had to make a couple stops before getting Nathan at work and given the weather and my son's mood, I did not want to haul him along with me. So I left Camryn behind and set out on my own. I made my stops and picked up Nathan. Then we made a quick stop at a friends place to pick up something they wanted duplicated. Then we drove back home and picked up the kids. Conroy was more than tired so for him was a bit of supper then off to bed. Camryn wasn't too much more agreeable so she was asleep by 8 as well.

Today I tried to be a little more productive then yesterday. I felt so lazy yesterday. I swear that 90% of pregnancy symptoms are in my head. I was fine until I found out I was prego and all of sudden I'm tired,nausus and stuffed up in the head.

Things I accomplished today - ironing fabric, cleaning the house up a bit, frosting cookies and making supper! It doesn't sound like a lot but when you throw in the demands of two little ones it fills up the day pretty good!

Know Any Good "C" Names?

2007-12-09T07:32:00.000-08:00

Oh yes - confirmed by pregnancy test number two this morning - I am pregnant again!

It all started Friday night when Nathan patted me on the tummy and said "You're tummy is hard, are you pregnant?" I thought about it a few things popped into my head about how I could possibly be. Saturday morning on our way to a friend's 2 year birthday party I ran into Walmart and along with gift wrapping grabbed a pregnancy test. I really thought it would be negative. There was a period of time back in September when I could have sworn I was pregnant. All the tests came back negative though and so I pushed the thought into the back of my mind. Later that afternoon I took the test I had bought. Negative. I thought so. I tossed it into the trash and went about my day. Later that evening I went into the bathroom and happened to glance in the trash at the test - it was positive! I thought really fast and realized that because I was in a bit of a hurry when I took the test and didn't wait the full time I should have! Now I was panicking a little - I had just had a vodka with cranberry juice because I thought I wasn't pregnant! So was this a real positive or a false one?

This morning Nathan ran out to the 24 hour Shoppers and picked up another test. Yep - it is positive!!!

Here is the fun part - I have no idea how far along I am. I could be one month, I could also be well into my second trimester. Guess we'll have to go to the doctor for those answers!

Busy Day

2007-12-06T15:13:00.000-08:00

Wow - I think I am finally running out of energy! I don't often make posts about my daily activities, but today has been so packed, I felt like writing it down just in case I ever forget how much I actually do!

I started off the morning at 4:30 - I woke up on our living room couch in a sitting position. The TV and the Christmas lights were still on. I must have fallen asleep watching TV! I think I was watching CSI, but I really don't recall. Everybody was still asleep so I switched off the TV and snuggled into my blanket. Next thing I knew it was just after 6. Nathan leaves about then for work so it must have been the closing door that woke me. The Christmas lights were still on. I relaxed for a few minutes, letting myself wake up before I heard Conroy wake up. I went up and let him out of his room (we keep a baby gate up on his door to prevent midnight wanderings). I came downstairs and made myself a fake cappuccino (powder and water). Camryn woke up then and we got into our morning routine of breakfast, diapers and bottles. I decided to make the most of my day at home and made a quick list of everything I wanted to get done. It was huge, but I figure even if I only get a few things done that was a good thing.

I started off with laundry and got a little sidetracked. I ended up not only putting away about three baskets of clothes, but rearranging our bedroom furniture, the office and vaccuming upstairs. I moved our bed over and put Camryn's crib on my side of the bed. I'm tired of sharing a bed with two other people. Usually when I wake up I am smooshed over on the last foot of the bed and Nathan and Camryn are sprawled all over the place. I had put Camryn into the crib while I cleaned and she fell asleep. By this time Conroy was tired of laundry and had gone downstairs to crash cars. So I turned on the baby monitor and quietly shut the door to let her sleep.

My next task was the kitchen - I did the dishes and cleaned up. Then I sat down at the computer to print out the photos for our Christmas cards. I had to replace a couple cartridges in the printer and at one point a couple sheets of photo paper stuck together causing a miss-print, but other than that all I have to do now is cut out all the pictures and put my cards together.

About then Camryn woke up so while she enjoyed a bottle and Conroy enjoyed mini pizza's for lunch, I worked on my discussion topic for next week's Mom's & Tot's group. Our topic is "Growth - I Want To Be More". Not an easy topic, but I am finding a lot of information and coming up with some ideas to propel discussion.

After lunch it was time for Conroy's nap. Camryn had fallen asleep again so I sat down with some flannel fabric I am cutting into squares for a rag quilt I am making for a friend. My shoulder is a little sore and I still have at least 80 squares left to cut! Thank goodness for rotary cutters! I finished my cutting and was heating up my own lunch when Conroy woke up. He had only slept for an hour and was very cranky. So he cuddled on the couch with me until I was done eating and Camryn woke up again.

Back to the computer - I had a package of cream cheese that needed to be used before the expiry and I had no idea what to make. I finally found a recipe for 'Better Than $ex" dessert and started that up after calling Nathan to ask him to pick up whipped cream on the way home. For those who have never has this before, it is a dessert that has a layer of shortbread on the bottom, then layers of cream cheese filling, vanilla and chocolate pudding and whipped cream! Yummy!!! And I actually had all the ingredients for it - so that was a bonus. I plopped Camryn into her high chair with a bottles and some toys and got to baking. After whipping the cream cheese part I asked Conroy if he wanted to lick the beater. As he was enjoying it I told him that licking the beaters is one of the best things in life. He took another taste and exclaimed "It is!!!"
LOL!

Now it is 4:30 and in about half an hour I need to start supper - it's a spaghetti night! Easy, yummy and I know everybody will eat it. I can't lose. Tonight it's Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy and working on those cards so that I can mail them by Monday. Then maybe, just maybe, I'll make it into my own bed tonight!

Another Quilt!

2007-12-02T21:26:00.000-08:00

I am finally finished the top of Camryn's quilt - the top anyway. After a few rough days with my camera I have been able to get a few shots that do it some justice.

After a very long week our family is over the flu. I feel very sorry for anybody else who gets it and I heard that there were others in the church who got it as well.

I don't really have a lot to write about right now. Somebody said recently that they keep forgetting that I have a blog. I'm taking that to mean "You're blog is really kind of boring, so I forget it's there..." I'm sure it wasn't meant that way. It's just that there isn't too much happening in a young family like ours that is exciting or news worthy. And anything I do write about is about the kids. It's not that I don't have a life, I do, really! Oh, who am I kidding? I didn't leave the house once this week between Sunday and Saturday. Granted we had a flu in the house, but still. By the end of the week I was thrilled to go to Walmart, even it is crazy in there this time of year.

Total change of subject now...
Yesterday Conroy politely asked me to hold his milk and then declared "I boogie!" and started dancing around the kitchen shaking his bottom! Nathan and I could not stop laughing. I told him to boogie on up to bed since it was nap time. As he was walking to up to his room he would stop every few steps and wiggle his bottom at me again! ROFL!

The other day he had me putting clothes pins on my ears. He asked me if I was a princess. I said "Honey, if this is all it takes to make me a princess, then by golly I am a princess!" Keep in mind this was after three days of sick kids and I wasn't looking so hot - a shower would have been a good idea, but I didn't want anybody throwing up while I was in the tub and choking. I know - I have an active imagination. Then I put the clothes pins on his ears and he was laughing so hard he could barely stand up. I have a very silly and overly dramatic little boy. He gets it from his father.

So tomorrow I am going to dig up all our Christmas stuff - including the Charlie Brown tree. It's a sad thing, but I don't feel like buying a new one this year. I would rather wait until boxing day and get something nice on sale. We did the shopping for the kids and are pretty much done. It will be our first Christmas as a family of four and I want to be just a little bit special. Which reminds me - I need to get my cards out! I had to postpone it because our camera was on the fritz. I plan to take pictures of the kids to include in the cards. Now that the camera is fixed I should get on that!

My Sick House

2007-11-28T06:04:00.000-08:00

What's worse than a 2 year old with a flu?

A sick 2 year old, 8 month old and husband. Nathan has a really bad cold, but for the past three days the kids have been sick with a stomach bug. It started Monday morning with Camryn showing very little interest in her bottle - then promptly bringing what she had eaten back up. Later that afternoon I had to haul Conroy to the bathroom to do the same. Yesterday the kids were in good spirits but not eating or drinking as much as usual. I thought we were almost past it but this morning Conroy got sick all over again. So I have brought out the Pedialite and cut him off from all milk products - something he is not too pleased with. The boy loves his dairy!

What else is new here - not a whole lot. I've been working on Camryn's quilt when I can. With the snow here and the illness we have been pretty house bound. I finally hooked up our Playstation for the first time in 2 years. I have Dog's Life and Conroy likes to watch me play. I try to get him to help with the controls but he doesn't understand it much yet. I am hoping to find a game in his age range for him for Christmas. If anybody knows of a game that would work let me know.

I can't think of anything else to write and Conroy is telling me he "no want this" (he is referring to the Pedialite) and asking for "milk - puhleeeease!". Try explaining to a kid this age why he can't drink milk when he has a stomach bug. His words are getting better and so is his understanding, but I doubt he can understand basic medical information. His words are so cute sometimes - he calls helicopters "hopper-copper's" and recently learned how to say "shake your bon-bon!" I'll admit, slightly inappropriate but a little hilarious at the same time. My favorite is the pair of binoculars I made him out of a couple toilet paper rolls. He calls them "Knockers!" LOL!

When Conroy Gets Too Quiet...

2007-11-27T20:09:00.000-08:00

He must be up to no good! I left him in the living room while I made supper, assuming he was playing. Keep in mind my living room is only a few feet away from the kitchen.

This was only a part of it. Thank goodness it was a travel size bottle of baby powder! There was also baby powder all over his toy box, Camryn's exersaucer and the other couch. He managed to get a little on Camryn, but not much.

Nathan came home just as I started vacuuming and asked "Do I even want to know what happened here?"

On the plus side, my house smells baby fresh now!

The 5 Word Blog

2007-11-19T18:32:00.000-08:00

We are alive and well.

Wahhhhh!!! GROSS!!!!

2007-10-31T07:56:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting at my computer, showing Conroy the nuances of an Ipod (which he is now thinks is a cell phone - he's pretending to talk to Daddy!) when a little yellow and black spider falls from the ceiling onto my keyboard! AHHH! Then the little bugger JUMPS at me - AAAAAAHHHHHH! My skin is still crawling! I grabbed a wet wipe and flushed my new friend down the toilet. Yeah, I'm super sweet to my friends...

A Night Without A Soother

2007-10-29T06:26:00.000-07:00

Conroy went to my Mom's without a soother. When it came time for them to drive back to Nanton I could not find his soother anywhere. Mom said he would be fine without it and if it became a problem she would go buy another one. The first night he asked for it a couple times and then went to sleep without it, sleeping until 5am. The second night he asked only once and then slept again through the night until 5am.

Then Conroy came home. He had napped in the car and when he got home we put him down for a nap. That about 1:30. As soon as he was in the door he asked for his soother, but went to sleep fine without it. At 5pm we decided to wake him up. At about 7:30 he was ready for bed again and again, asking for his soother. What happened after that was a dramafest of tears and wailing! It took about 10 minutes of repeatedly putting him back into bed before he settled down and went to sleep. I kept telling him that soosy was gone and that he was a big boy and didn't need it anymore. Camryn was kind enough to let us sleep in that morning until 10. The result was that I had a really hard time getting tired enough for bed last night. I didn't go to bed until 11pm. At 1am Conroy woke up crying and asking for soosy. For the next hour I was in and out of him room, tucking him back in every time he got out of bed.

At 6 am both the kids were wide awake. I went into Conroy's room and he had torn apart his bed, lifted the mattress and there, under the bed, was his soosy! He smiled and yelled "Mommy! Found Soosy!". Then he happily popped it in his mouth while I stood there and sobbed inwardly. I quickly took it from his mouth and he immediately asked for it back. I distracted him with the making of beds and quickly shoved the soother behind some folded laundry on our dresser. He hasn't asked for it again yet, but I am dreading nap time.

Nothing

2007-10-28T13:44:00.001-07:00

That's right. Nothing on my list of things "to do" this weekend was accomplished. I did not clean my car. I did not finish cleaning my carpets or painting my house. I did not do any scrapbooking or sewing. I didn't even do the dishes or laundry.

So what did I do? I slept a lot at night. I went for breakfast with my hubby and coffee with my friend. I learned how not to clean a carpet. I played poker with some friends and had fun. I slept in until 10 this morning. I went grocery shopping and now I am going to spend my afternoon cleaning the main level of my house and getting things picked up. So even though I didn't accomplish anything I set out to do, I did have fun and get a chance to relax. A weekend well wasted!

I have however come to understand why even stay at home moms need schedules. I guess I need to spend some serious time getting organized as far as housework goes. Then maybe I would feel a little less like I am living in a zoo.

My Weekend Off

2007-10-27T08:19:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning - the coffee is brewed, the baby is fed. Nathan is hooking up our new satelite reciever. Conroy is....where is Conroy? Oh yes, Conroy went to Grandma's for the weekend. When he left yesterday afternoon he had not napped for the second day in a row and was getting a little edgy. he also lost his soother so I had to send him without it. I wonder how that went? I should give them a call this morning and see if it was a total disaster. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll come home fully weaned!

Since Conroy is not here I have a list of things to get done before he arrives home Sunday afternoon. I have borrowed a carpet cleaner from a friend and need to clean the living room carpet. After six months of spit up it's kind of dirty and needs a good scrub. On the list as well is cleaning our car and finishing the walls upstairs that need another coat of paint. I am also going out for coffee this afternoon with an old friend. The weekends that Conroy is not here it is so quiet - I feel like an empty nester again! It's hard to get all my chores done, the temptation to be lazy all weekend is so great! I was lucky enough however to sleep for nine hours! I didn't get up until almost eight this morning. After a week of getting up at 5:30 it was a nice way to start the weekend.

A Month!?

2007-10-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

Has is seriously been a month since I last posted on here? Wow - I must be getting really lazy. Either that or not much exciting has happened since last month, hence the lack of news.

The days go by so fast now. Wake up at 5, drive Nathan to work, come home, make breakfast, play with the kids, do laundry. Naps, prepare whatever we are having for supper that night. Lunch time! Load the kids into the car again and head to the gym. Work out for an hour, pick up Nathan from work. Home, dinner, dishes, bedtime, catch up on everybody's blogs, back to bed. Rinse and repeat 5 days a week. OK - so I only go the gym two or three times a week. If it weren't for that hour of "me" time I would go insane some days.

Those that have known me most of my life know that I am not a "work-out" person. I have never experienced a runner's high, or even really run for that matter. I hate getting sweaty normally. I was the kid that was beyond being picked last for team sports. I preferred to forget my gym clothes and instead spend the period writing lines as punishment. Participating in team sports was a worse punishment for me. I still dislike them - all these super athletic people who know where their feet are and how to use them. However, it has been six months now since I had Camryn and I have been increasingly annoyed with my inability to lose the baby weight. Realizing that something had to change - either my eating habits or my exercise habits - I chose the latter. I love food too much and am not ready to go on a diet. Besides, with Halloween and Christmas around the corner, what's the point?

So I joined a club - actually the whole family did. It just made sense. They have a heated wave pool and a daycare facility, so why not? Twice a week I drag the kids there and they spend an hour in the day care while I spend 30 minutes on a treadmill and another 30 minutes lifting weights. And I love it! Not only do I get some "me" time, but I get in shape doing it. I've lost two pounds in the last two weeks. I just try not to look in the mirror while I work out. I much prefer the image I have of myself in my own mind. You see, it is all a matter of perception. In my mind I am a super model with a few curves! When I look in a mirror from the chest up, I am freaking hot! If I look in a full length mirror I see a saggy post-baby body. Ugh. So I shut the full length mirror up in my closet. Good riddance.

On the creative side of life I just received another shipment from my wonderful aunt! She sells scrapbook supplies and my goodness I am spoiled! I can't wait to sit down this weekend and have a few hours of scrap time! I ordered some beautiful pink papers and they are so pretty! I wanted to get started on some pages for Camryn and maybe do a couple new ones with old photos as well. Hello big hair!

Conroy is going to Grandma's house this weekend and I can't tell who is more excited. Last time he went for a weekend I was all for it until he actually drove away in the back seat of my mom's car. I just wanted to cry! I should be a little more prepared for the emotional upheaval this time. I have all kinds of things planned. Scraping, quilting, steam cleaning my floors, painting walls, visiting with a couple friends and maybe even another poker night at our house. We had a bunch of friends over this weekend for a game and I had such a blast! At one point I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. And I even won the game! Never saw that coming! I was so exhausted but had a really hard time falling asleep after everybody went home.

So....there's my little update for the month. I'll try to do this more often, it just seems sometimes like my life is not interesting enough to write about. Know what I mean?

Back To You

2007-09-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

Back To You - the new sitcom starring Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton was just about the hugest sitcom disapointment. It premiered last week and for the first 20 minutes I thought I was watching a student video project: Create a sitcom with formulaic humor and lighting, add a couple famous names who have done this before and just for kicks, make it as predictable as possible.

Fortunatly, there is a light on the horizon as Premiere Week has finally arrived! All the greats are back and I am preparing to settle into a week of fanatical TV viewing. Grey's Anatomy tops my list as well as the Grey's spin off Out Of Practice. Ugly Betty is up there and so is LA Ink.

Rest assured that I am not going to spend all my time in front of the boob tube - I have several things on the go right now, not including the never ending pile of laundry in my basement. If I spent as much time doing laundry as I spend avoiding it I would never want for clean undies again.

This year I have agreed to work with Mom's & Tot's at our church. I'll be assisting in leading the mom part of the program. I am also still an avid scrap booker and now I am hooked on quilting - and glad to see that Cousin John is enjoying it as well - after all, it's not just a women's sport you know. I'm also in the process of sleep training Conroy who has thrown his bedding over the baby gate for the last time in history. I've tried several methods of getting him to sleep on a schedule and he thinks each one is a fantastic game designed to keep mom from getting bored. It's extra frustrating because when we get a babysitter or he stays over at Grandma's he is as good as gold and goes to sleep without a fuss. But he knows me and I guess I have indulged him a little too much since he went to a toddler bed. So at the moment he is in his bedroom and I am downstairs listening to small cries of "mommy, out, mommy, out".

Hey - let's play a game! Let's see how long mommy lasts today before she gives in and lets him out! Part of the problem today is that he pitched his soother who-knows-where and I can't find it. So that solved the problem of when to wean him from the infernal piece of plastic that has ruled my life and his. Oh well, not supposed to have idols, right? No more soother worship in this house! Yep here, we go - now he is crying "where's soosy?". His tantrun has lasted long enough for Camryn to have a nap, wake, play, feed and go down for her second nap of the day. If I'm lucky he'll tire himself out by bedtime tonight. I watch Nanny 911 while I feed Camryn in the afternoons and I'm going with the "I'm going to last longer than you are method". I've seen it done several times on the show now where mom and dad just keep putting the kid back into bed until the wee hours of the morning. By the end of the week the kids are going to sleep, weaned off the soother and no longer run around like demons on Red Bull terrorizing siblings, parents and pets. I know there is more to it than that, but I guess the trick is consistency, something I am not good at when I'm tired and irritable.

Ok - enough complaining! I need to change the laundry and wash some nipples (for Camryn's bottles people - get your minds out of the gutters!) I think I'll attempt to get my latest quilt creation completed as well - I think my problem was the tension on my machine and I want to see if I can get it to sew without bunching up. I'm forcing myself to finish one project before starting another and I am dying to get started on a Roman Block quilt for Camryn!

Conroy's Room

2007-09-12T20:49:00.001-07:00

Goodbye Sweetheart Now It's Time To Go

2007-09-09T20:31:00.000-07:00

Alright, I admit it. I cried. Today I said goodbye to my longest and dearest friend Kristy. She and her husband Bob are shipping off in two days for South Africa to do a DTS at the YWAM in Jeffries Bay. For those of you dear readers who are not familiar with the acronyms, a DTS is a Discipleship Training S.... (ok, so I'm not sure what the S stands for) and YWAM is Youth With A Mission.

Kristy and I have been friends for 16 years. We met when we were 13 and it went something like this:

Kristy: Hi, I'm Kristy (whoa, you have some seriously weird hair)
Buffy: Hi, I'm BJ (please don't ask me what it stands for)

Anyway, today their church in Red Deer commissioned them off, so I drove up with the kids for the day to see them. Kristy's parents, Floyd and Wendy were there as well. It was pretty chaotic and a lot of people were there, so even though we didn't get a really good visit, it was totally worth it.

Yesterday I had a real treat, Nathan took the kids for the day and I drove out to Nanton to do some quilting with my mom. This was my first full day away from the kids and I think it was a success! I finally finished Conroy's quilt - his room is now complete!! I'll have to take some pictures tomorrow and post them here. I have learned one very important thing from quilting and that is patience! I love to sew but I usually get frustrated quickly and abandon my projects. I'm trying to develop some discipline and take the time to do things properly instead of rushing my projects. For my first quilt this was not so bad, some of the squares are uneven and I'm sure my seams are a little crooked, but overall I was happy with the finished product! Now I am going to start my second quilt- a blue checked one. I really want the squares on this one to be perfect so I spent about 8 hours in total measuring and cutting carefully. I went to sew them together and they were all different sizes!! I was so crushed and Mom and I spent about an hour trying to figure out where I went wrong. Here is what I did wrong:

1. I did not have proper lighting - I was doing it in the dark with only the TV for light, so that I would not wake Camryn up.
2. I did not use an L-square or a proper quilting ruler
3. I didn't remember to iron some pieces before cutting (big no no!!!)

Well, now that I know what I did wrong, I have to re-cut all 70 squares. Yippee. Perfection can be so trying.

More highlights of my weekend:

Conroy decided that Camryn was ready for solids this morning and tried to feed her some cereal - it resulted in one choking baby and one mommy having a slight heart attack while pounding her baby on the back. Camryn is fine and thankfully the cereal did not actually go down her throat.

I discovered that the Shaken Iced Tea Lemonade at Starbucks is super yummy!!

Daredevil really was a lame movie. Sorry Ben Affleck - you're cute but you're no superhero.

It turns out that baby oil is really hard to get out your kids hair - I put in on Conroy because he developed a really bad case of cradle cap, but three shampoos later his hair is still greasy.

Conroy can now get in and out of the bathtub alone - if I even mention taking a shower or bath he runs to the bathroom and jumps in.

Conroy's current favorite sayings:

No Touchy!!
Yeppers
Nopers
No want
What's that?
Where's (insert name here)
One, Two, Three GO!!!

That last one is his favorite - he asks "Where's Mommy?" while looking right at me.

Camryn's current favorite sayings:

Grrlllglglglglglgg
AHhhh!
Ooooooh!
THBBBBBBB!
(no sound here, just a really big smile!)

My favorite sayings:

"I need a day off!"
"Conroy! Be gentle!"
"Get off of Camryn!"
"Are you poopy?"
"Want to use your potty?"

you can all decide for yourselves who I say those to.

Milky, Milky!

2007-08-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

Cookies and milk rocks. Seriously - I can think of no better way to end the day than a tall glass of 1% and a handful of freshly baked M&M Oatmeal cookies. Except a glass of wine. That would be pretty great too.

Another month is quickly passing me by. Suddenly I am feeling like I have a lot to accomplish in the next 8 months before my mat leave is up. I've started on a few projects. I finally finished the curtains for Conroy's bedroom and now have to start the bedspread. By the time I finish this project he'll be thirteen and well past his love of the movie Cars. I wanted to post a photo but since Conroy is in bed (as he should be!) it will have to wait until tomorrow. I still want to clean out the basement, organize all our clothing, alright, all the baby clothing. These kids have wardrobes ten times the size of mine!

Camryn is sleeping through the night now! Yay! She goes to bed at about 9:30 and sleeps until 7 or eight. She then goes back to sleep around 10ish and sleeps until 1 or 2. The only downside to this is that she only naps once a day. As a result she keeps me pretty busy in the afternoons and evenings. She is huge and already weighs about 16 lbs. To put in into perspective, Conroy is around 25 lbs, so she is catching up quickly! Her latest milestones are spitting when spat at, sticking her fingers down her throat accidentally and gagging, as well as a constant commentary on life in general to anybody who will listen. We don't know what she is saying, but I'm pretty sure it's something like "If you keep spitting bubbles at me I'm going to do it right back to you, so there!"

Conroy is growing fast and his words are coming faster. He has developed a habit of adding "e" onto the end of his words though. So instead of saying "book" he says "booky", "milky", "nappy". We are still trying to figure this out since we don't use baby talk. He can count to 5 now! We applaud loudly when he does it on his own and he basks in the limelight. Just wait till he ties his own shoes - he'll get a standing ovation. He also loves to sing and does pretty good singing Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You". He only sings the word "you" but is pretty good at hitting the right notes. He has learned how to apologize but we don't think he really gets it. I am in the habit of making him apologize if he hurts somebody, intentionally or not. Camryn got the bulk of the apologies one day and ever since then he walks around the house running into people and other inanimate objects saying "Sorry Tameryn!"

Not much else is going on here. I just try to keep up everyday and force myself to clean the kitchen before bed. I hate cleaning kitchens, so I figure if I can force myself to do this, the rest of the house should be a breeze. I also hate folding laundry though, so I should probably work on that as well given that there are no clothes in our drawers, but only one load of dirty laundry left. That means that half my bedroom has piles of clean laundry that need to be folded and put away. I can't even walk to my closet at the moment. I can however dig through the piles and know that whatever I am pulling out is clean. So that's a start.

Yay!

2007-08-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

I had lunch with my mom today and talked her into coming to Scrapbooker's paradise with me! I got some new paper and now I am going to descend to the basement to do a little scrapbooking!

Warning: Poop Story

2007-08-06T07:43:00.001-07:00

Everybody has their poop story - here is mine.

I was feeding Camryn this morning when she made her "poop face" and let a little toot out. Since it was such a small toot, I figured it couldn't be too bad. Yesterday we had done some cleaning and put away the crib and folding change table, so today I had to change Camryn on the floor.

Mistake #1 - Not putting something under the baby to protect the carpet.

I opened her diaper and quickly discovered that the offending toot (and it was offending!) had lied and her diaper was quite full. I lifted her bottom up in the air and proceeded to clean her off.

Mistake #2 - Not having a plastic bag ready for the soiled diaper.

I placed the soiled diaper a fair distance from us and, still holding up her bottom so as to protect the carpet continued with our business. Conroy decided to come over a that point and see what all the fuss was about.

He stepped on the diaper - right in the poop!

I grabbed him by the ankle before he could put his foot down on the carpet again - he landed on the floor and started screaming at me to let go! All this time I'm still holding Camryn's bottom up in the air! I yelled for Nathan and thankfully he heard me since he was outside in the front yard!

So - that was how I started my day. Anybody do anything exciting?

Ingrid Lost

2007-08-04T11:15:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so much for writing an online novel. Somewhere between the grocery list and a brief analysis of my family history, my exploration of freelance writing was unceremoniously placed on the back burner. I love to write, but this too has fallen to my biggest flaw - I'm a starter.

Starters are great people. They show enthusiasm for new projects and bubble over with ideas and inspiration. But there is something that a starter is not and that my dear readers is a finisher. I have started countless projects with every intention of finishing and reaping the benefits. I find new crafts and causes and swear to myself that I will finish this task. I so rarely finish the task.

I think the issue is that a starter gets excited and then as the excitement wains, the reality sets in. Whatever I had set out to do is too pricey, difficult, or after a while it gets just plain boring.

My attitude towards not finishing things is starting to get on my nerves. Our family has been through some rough times over the last month and I have found myself in a position where everything that I was expecting to happen over the next ten years has landed in my lap. Suddenly I am finding myself needing to make decisions that I was sure I had time to make. I still have some time, but by April next year I have to make some hard choices about what I am going to do after my Maternity Leave is over.

I have considered lots of options, including University, working from home or going back to my old job at K&P. I like my old job, but with the rising costs of childcare, I don't really know if it is logical or not. On the other hand, if I really want to go back to work, then money should not be an issue and I should go back regardless.

If I went back to school, I would opt for an online program that would leave me time to be at home with the kids. I have looked into it and after taking into account changes in economy and the workplace in general, a degree in Communications would be ideal for me. It would give me the business courses that I need as well as other aspects that could put me in a good position to eventually run my own company or work from home in an area such as freelance or copywriting.

Am I ready to go back to school? I failed miserably in college. Of course, that was ten years ago and I was taking Theology. being unable to distinctly separate the language of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John earned me a failing grade in New Testament Studies. I dropped out of Old Testament Studies after realizing that both the courses in one Semester really was as difficult as they said. I did manage however to ace my Directing course and I would have passed Roman Law and Somethingorother if I had actually attended the classes. I skipped them all and turned in an A paper at the end of the semester. I still regret not taking Greek.

I don't count myself as a stupid person, so I know I could do the work and do very well. However - AM I GOING TO FINISH? With my current track record, I have been scared stiff about actually giving $700 in course fees to somebody when I am not sure if I will finish the course. I want to go back to school. I want to get a degree. Am I willing to do it?

Ooh - new thought. Why am I so scared of not finishing? Am I afraid of being good at something? Do I think it will change who I am? Nix that - for $40000 in tuition it had better change me - and make me a size eight while I'm at it. That is a fist load of money to invest in an education and I don't want to waste it. Maybe I don't want the responsibility. Or the aggravation of raising two kids while going back to school and probably working at the same time. I am afraid of backing off my career and after however many years of being at home with the kids, finding out that nobody wants to hire me for what I am worth because I have been out of the game for too long. It's a sad reality, but employers do view women who have stayed at home with the kids differently from the rest of the employees.

Camryn is stirring - she is napping in her bassinet in a particularly odd position, halfway on her side with her back arched and her head kind of pushed back as though she were straining to view to warning tag at the top of the bed.

A Night Out With The Girls

2007-08-03T22:44:00.001-07:00

And it was so much fun! Nathan went to play poker as usual, and normally us girls would stay and play as well. After a lot of calling around I managed to find a sitter - it turned out to be Lisa's daughter Brittany! She came over with her baby girl, Riley and managed the three kids for the evening. I had planned to play poker with everybody but just before we left the house Lisa called and said that she and Diana didn't feel like playing and were going out for dinner instead. Did I want to come? It was a tough decision, since I do love to play poker, but I so rarely get a chance to hang out with just girlfriends, so I decided to tag along! It was great! We ate and talked for four hours!!
I just came home - the kids are both sound asleep. Nathan decided to stay and play another game so I came home alone. Brittany was tired and really, so was I. I knew my mind wouldn't be on the game anyway.
As I was saying goodbye to Brit and Riley she said that anytime I needed a sitter on Friday night, to give her a call! Yay! It is really hard to find sitters for weekends, so this would be great. She lives nearby and we always joke that Steve and Lisa are like family. Brit is probably the only teenager I would truly trust with my kids. She is 16 and raising her child like a pro, so I know that she knows how to handle Camryn. Conroy seemed to be OK with her right from the start and barely noticed we were leaving. He was too busy telling her all about his Mr. Potato Head! This from a kid who just yesterday broke into tears because I left the house without him to run to the store. Poor Nathan! I hope he doesn't take it personally!

A Night Out With The Girls

2007-08-03T22:44:00.000-07:00

Spray Paint Update

2007-07-31T20:27:00.000-07:00

This evening a woman from the neighbourhood knocked on our door. She had seen the spray paint on our car and let us know that we were one of three cars hit in the neighbourhood. Apparantly we recieved the least amount of damage. A couple others down the block had graffiti and impolite words scrawled on their cars.
She also told us that last week we had three car break ins on our block and asked if we would leave our porch light on at night from now on. There are several people in the neighbourhood that are going to be watching our street from now on to make sure that the vandalism does not continue. She said that it all started just recently and that normally this is a very quiet street to live on.
So we'll see what happens I guess...

Vent!!!

2007-07-31T07:41:00.000-07:00

OK - I have to get this out! Nathan just called me from work. He went out to our car this morning and somebody spray painted our car!!!
Since we have moved here two months ago we have had the antennae on both our vehicles bent in half, our broom was decapitated and one of our solar lights on the lawn stolen. I have watched from my front porch while somebody literally threw an old branch onto our car. Oh yeah, they saw us sitting there and did it anyway. I was so shocked I didn't say anything!
Now this - I really have to wonder now if we made the right choice moving here. Do we have a neighbour that hates us or something?
AAAHHHHH!

Back From The West Coast

2007-07-30T20:47:00.000-07:00

It is so good to be home! I missed my bed, missed Camryn's swing and most of all I missed having a room to send Conroy to when he misbehaved!

Last Monday I packed up the kids and the SUV and drove out to Nanton where we picked up Grandma Karen (my mom). The plan was to drive to Vancouver and visit my Dad's side of the family and go to Nathan's cousin's wedding. Along the way we would stop and visit Grandma Hinton and Doug as well as my Dad, Doug. If you can keep up with that you'll realize that I am talking about two different Doug's that happen to live in the same town!

Our first stop was in Cranbrook to see Grandma Hinton and Doug. We stayed there Monday night in their newly finished basement. Tuesday we went out to the town museum and looked at a Centennial Quilt there. It was very large and intricate and apparently took a couple years to make! Conroy was pretty good and like to point out all the different things on the quilt. He even wanted to show his stuffed monkey harness/backpack! He would hold the monkey up and show it the people and the cars and trains on the quilt! He was a very good little teacher!

After the museum we went to the small public water park and he had a blast running through the spray. At some point he developed a small fear of water and we have been gently trying to ease him back in. By the end of the day he was willingly getting his feet and hands wet!

That evening my Dad, Doug came over for dinner. Grandma Hinton had made a wonderful homemade chicken pot pie! It was good to see Dad again and introduce him to Camryn. Some of you may not be aware of the history in my family, so here is a short explanation. My Mom and Doug had my older brother Skylar and myself. They divorced when I was about three and then my mom remarried to Gary when I was eight. Gary had a daughter, Chrystal from a previous marriage. A few years later Doug remarried as well and he and his wife adopted a little girl, Elyssa. Doug is divorced now and living in Cranbrook. The only time this gets really confusing is when I refer to both Doug and Gary as "Dad".

Wednesday we left Canbrook and set out for Osoyoos. What a neat place! There is a wonderful lake and it's like being in a little resort town! We got a hotel room and while the AC didn't work well, it was decent. There was a heated pool so I took Conroy swimming. He was terrified that I would let him go at first, but after about half an hour he would let me pull him around the pool while he kicked in the water and splashed. The next morning we packed up to leave and decided to stop at the beach on the way out of town. We pulled up and there was a man with a bike at the picnic table in front of our car. Mom got Conroy out and just as she set him on the sand he puked all over himself! The poor guy at the table got to see it all! Conroy seemed OK afterward, so we decided that he must have just had something caught in his throat that was irritating him. Conroy loved the beach and was very brave and went into the water up to his waist! I was so proud of him! I didn't think he would go in so I didn't bother putting Little Swimmers on him - his diaper weighed about 10 lbs after he got out! LOL!

We started off for Vancouver again. Just outside of Hope, we were talking and heard a horrible noise from behind us - Conroy threw up again! I had no where to pull over! We had to make an emergency stop on the side of the highway and take him out to clean him off. I have no idea what was wrong, but we figured it must have been something he ate because he didn't have any problems for the rest of our trip. I was a little afraid that it was car sickness, but I don't think so anymore!

We got into Surrey Thursday evening and found a hotel. It was cheap, but in the end it was kind of dirty. Mom even found a false fingernail on the floor! EEEWWWW! It was obvious after a couple days that the floors were not clean and the bedspreads had not been washed. After that mom said she was going to ask to see the rooms before we rented any rooms.

Thursday evening we visited with Skylar and his girlfriend Jill. The next day we drove to Stanley Park and took Conroy to the Aquarium too see the belugas. What amazing and oddly shaped creatures! Conroy had a blast there! He got to see the ocean for the first time and pick up sea shells and even built his first sand castle! Friday evening we went back to Skylar's place for a BBQ. I have to say - he makes one amazing steak! It was probably the best I have ever had in my life!

Saturday we spent the morning being kind of lazy around the hotel. Conroy was in a mischievous mood so we opted to keep him away from the public eye. Except for the trip to Superstore where he screamed at the top of his lungs the entire time....

Saturday afternoon we drive up to Coquitlam to go to James & Jenny's wedding. It was beautiful! I was glad to introduce the kids to that side of Nathan's family. After a short visit there we went back down to Delta to see my side of the family! My Uncle Roy and Auntie Penny hosted the event. Uncle Ken was there as well as my Grandma Vine. Cousin Michelle and her new boyfriend Spencer. My cousin's Shawn Brendon were in Mexico for work (tough life huh?) but Shawn's wife Chelsea came as well as Skylar and Jill and a few of Roy's neighbours and friends. It was great! Conroy had a blast and enjoyed being the center of attention for quite a bit of the evening. He played and chased the dog and vice versa. I really need to get out there more often to visit! Every three years just doesn't cut it!

Sunday we packed up early and by nine am we headed back across the province for Calgary. We got into Creston around ten and stayed the night in a cute and CLEAN motel. This morning we got up and Conroy was in another one of his moods. We had planned to go for breakfast at a local restaurant but quickly realized how much of a disaster that would be. Instead we grabbed coffee at the 7-11 and headed for Cranbrook. We made a quick stop for lunch where Conroy's mood reared it's ugly head again. As I carried him out to the car afterwards, I told him he had been misbehaving and he look at me and said "Oh, dear!". LOL! It's hard to be mad when he is so cute sometimes.

We pulled into Nanton around 4:30 and dropped my mom off. We stayed to play and stretch and miss rush hour and at 6 I was back on the road. By 7:30 we were home!

AHHH....now I am going to wrap this up, pick up the baby girl asleep on the couch beside me and try to get some real sleep!